Boundaries are rules that we set for ourselves based on our needs, values, beliefs, and past experiences. Boundaries are guidelines that are created to provide a sense of direction on how others can treat us. Being able to identify and communicate our boundaries allows us to have more control in our lives. And if we don't identify and set clear boundaries, there’s an opportunity for others to take advantage of us in our social, professional, romantic, and family relationships. This may be uncomfortable at first, but boundaries can be seen as a healthy line of protection for our mental health.
To fully establish our boundaries, we must be able to effectively communicate them to those around us. It is unrealistic to expect people to respect our boundaries if they don’t know about them. Before communicating a boundary, it helps to plan exactly what we’re going to say; almost like writing a script. By practicing what we’re going to say in advance, we’ll be more comfortable and feel less anxious expressing what is needed in the moment.
Now it is your turn to practice! Take a look at the example, then use the table below to craft your own boundary statements, in your own words.
In many situations, merely communicating our boundaries is not sufficient. Some people may need time to adjust to our new boundaries, and may not fully respect them at first. So, it is best to assume that certain people will overstep the boundaries we’ve set–whether that be intentionally or not–and be prepared to handle any “boundary violations”.
Now it is your turn to practice! Take a look at the example, then use the table below to create a response to any boundary that someone crossed in your own life.
Call 911 if you’re having a
mental health emergency
Text Home to 741-741 if you're in emotional
distress and need immediate support
Call 988 For National Suicide
Prevention Hotline