Browse Therapists Specializing in Self Esteem and Confidence in District of Columbia

When things feel out of control  No matter who we are, life will inevitably throw challenges our way. Problem-solving is an important skill to figure out strategies for how to improve your situation. But what happens when there is no way to improve the situation — when it’s completely out of your control? Try as we might, there will always be things in life that we are powerless to control. When you pay close attention, you may realize that the things in life you can’t control occupy a great deal of your mental space. You might find yourself becoming anxious or frustrated by things like poor weather, the traffic, or other people’s opinions. While it’s understandable to be upset by these things, spending too much time ruminating on them can have negative consequences for your mental health. It’s easier said than done to simply stop thinking about things outside of your control. But there are ways to cope with the stress they cause and protect your mental well-being. Here, we’ll give you 6 actionable tips on how to cope with things you can’t control. {MiniWidget:Anxiety} Recognizing what’s out of your control It can help to first differentiate between the things that are within your control and the things that aren’t. You may realize that many of the things that cause you to feel anxious are things that are outside of your control. What other people think As much as many of us might want to be liked by everyone or have everyone agree with us, unfortunately, one of the main things in life outside of our control is what other people think. No matter how hard you try, you can’t control others’ thoughts. You may be able to influence them and make a good impression – but, at the end of the day, what people think of you, or any other topic, is out of your control. This can be difficult to deal with for many people, especially if you live with a mental health condition like social anxiety disorder. It’s understandable to want others to think highly of you or to agree with you, especially if they’re important to you. But people choose to form their own opinions regardless of how we may feel about them. And it may not be worth sacrificing your mental health to attempt to control their thoughts. The past  Regrets about past decisions and mistakes can make you feel desperate to be able to go back and change past events. You might be plagued with questions about how things could have turned out if you’d made different choices. This regret can be especially overwhelming if you feel like you’ve hurt people in the past.  Although it’s important to balance self-compassion and accountability for your past mistakes, it’s also important to understand that the past is outside of your control. There is nothing you can do to change what happened in the past — but you can control what you do now. The future and “what if” scenarios The future, on the other hand, is — to some extent – within our control. The choices you make today can influence what happens tomorrow. But believing that you’re 100% in control of the future may lead to disappointment, because there are so many factors that are unpredictable and can’t be controlled. So many of us get caught up in the “what ifs” of the future: What if I never meet the right person for me? What if I get sick? What if I get laid off from my job? While these may be understandable and normal worries to have, they’re largely outside of our control. You can work toward doing what you can today to build a happy future, but there’s nothing we can do to guarantee it. Environmental and outside factors  Lastly, we often can’t control outside factors in the environment around us. For example, we can’t control the weather. We can’t control traffic. We can’t control delayed flights, technology mishaps, or a million other frustrating annoyances that happen in everyday life. These events can be upsetting, especially if they get in the way of our plans. But it’s important to recognize that these are factors that are completely outside of our control. It’s okay to be frustrated by them, but dwelling on them may do more harm than good. Tips for coping It’s normal to get upset about these things, even if you know they’re outside of your control. But allowing them to affect your mood or anxiety levels can be detrimental to your overall mental health.  It’s important to practice self-compassion for becoming upset by things outside of your control — it happens to everyone. At the same time, you can use these helpful strategies to cope when you’re feeling frustrated. 1. Recognize your feelings It’s rarely, if ever, helpful to punish yourself for feeling frustrated or trying to push these uncomfortable feelings away. Instead, simply try to recognize your feelings. Notice that you’re feeling frustrated and overwhelmed by these scenarios outside of your control. You don’t need to react to the feelings; simply notice them. It can sometimes be helpful to name the emotions as well. You might be experiencing multiple coexisting emotions. For example, you might feel frustrated, and at the same time feel a sense of peace, acceptance, or even silliness that you’re feeling so frustrated about something out of your control. You might feel a mix of excitement and fear about the unknown future. Recognizing your feelings is the first step to emotional awareness and self-regulation, which are essential components to social-emotional well-being. 2. Journaling Writing in a journal can be an effective way to express your feelings about a situation when you know there’s nothing you can do to change it. Journaling has many mental health benefits. Getting your thoughts out on paper can help you avoid rumination, or thinking about the uncontrollable event over and over again. Journaling can also help you process past stressful and traumatic events, even if you can’t go back and change them. Try to remember to use journaling to combat rumination rather than simply brooding about the situation on paper. Try finding new perspectives as you write. For example, shift the focus of your journal to the things that are in your control, or write to help yourself identify your emotions about what happened without getting stuck on ruminating about it.  You can even try positive rumination journaling, or writing specifically about more positive aspects. For example, you could write about the best thing to come out of the upsetting situation, or simply write about one frustrating and one happy event each day. One study found that positive rumination journaling was helpful for reducing maladaptive rumination. 3. Practice mindfulness  Mindfulness originated in ancient Eastern spiritual traditions, but is now used in mainstream Western medicine to combat a wide variety of health concerns — including anxiety. Mindfulness is still highly misunderstood, but in essence, it’s a way to train your brain to stay focused on each present moment, regardless of how painful it may be.  Mindfulness plays an important role in acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) and dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), two evidence-based therapy techniques that may help you tolerate uncomfortable emotions over things you can’t control. 4. Get quality sleep A big part of coping with things outside of your control is being resilient, or having the ability to bounce back from challenges and stress. The research on what promotes resilience is ongoing, but one important factor is getting quality sleep. When you get enough restful sleep each night, you’re better-equipped to be able to cope with the inevitable challenges of life, including frustrating situations that are outside of your control. Sleep-deprivation, on the other hand, can make you feel more stressed and heighten your risk for mental health conditions like anxiety and depression. Experts say that healthy adults need between 7 to 9 hours of sleep each night. If you’re consistently falling short, use research-backed sleep hygiene tips. A cognitive-behavioral therapist may also help you identify what might be keeping you awake at night and work toward addressing it.  5. Deep breathing Breathing strategies have been used for millennia to help people reduce stress and have more control over their emotions. One effective breathing technique is deep breathing, also known as belly breathing or diaphragmatic breathing. It works by activating your body’s relaxation response. Start your deep breathing practice by relaxing your body and closing your eyes if you wish. It can help to place one hand on your stomach, right underneath your belly button, and the other on your chest. Breathe deeply, through your nose and into your belly. Try to imagine filling your body with air, starting with the bottom of your stomach. The hand on your belly, not the one on your chest, should rise. Hold your breath for a few seconds. Then, slowly and steadily release the air through your mouth. You may make a “whoosh” sound as the air leaves your belly. The hand on your belly should lower. Repeat this as many times as necessary until you begin to feel calmer. 6. Shift your mindset to what you can control Lastly, try to shift your focus to what you can control. Real life can be messy, and you’ll likely find that, in most situations, there are aspects of it that you can control as well as aspects you can’t control.  For example, you may not be able to control what happens in the future 100%. But you can make good decisions today that will set you up for success in the future. On the flip side, making impulsive choices today may have consequences for the future. In many cases, the aspects that are within your control relate to your own feelings and reactions. You can’t control that your flight is delayed, but you can control how you act toward the airline attendant or demonstrate compassion and try to make the experience as least frustrating as possible for yourself. You can’t change the traumatic event that you went through, but you can be kind to yourself today. Of course, this is easier said than done, and we can’t be positive about everything all the time. But, as much as possible, try to notice when you’re spending a lot of time worrying about things outside of your control, and reframe your focus to the things that you can do something about. How professional therapy can support your mental health If you are constantly facing excessive worries about things that aren’t out of your control, and if these worries are affecting your day-to-day functioning, then it could be a sign of an underlying anxiety disorder. Anxiety can be difficult to deal with, but there are effective treatment methods available that can help.  A therapist can help you become more aware of when you’re feeling anxious about something outside of your control, and why these things hold so much power. They can teach you new skills and strategies you can use to cope with these uncomfortable feelings, and reframe your thoughts so that you’re no longer focusing on things outside of your control. With Cerebral, you can connect with a mental health provider who can work with you on a personalized action plan to help you stop overthinking and equip yourself with strategies to use when you’re feeling like life is out of control. 72% of Cerebral clients reported feeling less anxiety after just 3 months of treatment.* Join Cerebral today! *Based on Cerebral clients with moderate to severe anxiety and/or depression from 2020-2023. Image by freepik

You may have encountered the idea of affirmations when reading about ways to improve mental health, piquing both your interest and skepticism. Can a few well-chosen words really change your emotional and mental state, after all? Without a doubt, the answer is "Yes!"  A proven method for enhancing mental health, affirmations have a psychological effect that has been scientifically demonstrated. Let’s explore how affirmations can change the way your brain functions so you can experience healthier mental and emotional well-being. {MiniWidget:Generic} What are affirmations? Affirmations are succinct, upbeat comments you say to yourself to upset negative thought patterns and promote positivity. Repeating these "cheerleader" words aloud or even silently can cause them to stick in your mind. In doing so, you forge neural pathways that strengthen your sense of self and emotional stability. What is the science behind affirmations? The idea of positive thinking isn’t new as academics have been studying the science behind it for some time. Research indicates that repeating affirmations causes specific parts of the brain to activate. These include the ventromedial prefrontal cortex and areas associated with reward and reflection. This brain region also controls emotions and helps in maintaining your sense of self-worth. Repeating positive affirmations retrains the brain to focus on possibilities and positive ideas. Shifting mental patterns in this way reduces stress and negative self-talk so you enjoy a more balanced emotional state Can affirmations help with anxiety or depression? Affirmations are not a replacement for professional therapy or medication, but they can be an effective complementary tool in managing anxiety and depression. Positive messaging replaces a never-ending stream of negative thoughts, breaking down self-doubt and rumination. This interruption provides you with a break from the stresses of the situation and encourages you to be more optimistic. Benefits of affirmations Affirmations offer a range of mental health benefits, making them a simple yet effective practice. These include: Reduces negative self-talk A critical inner voice is something many will deal with at some point. Affirmations help combat that negativity, reinforcing your strengths and potential. As positive statements become part of your mental routine, the constant flow of doubt becomes quieter, leading to a more compassionate self-view. Promotes healthy behaviors Affirmations possess the power to drive change. Whether kicking a bad habit, adopting a healthier lifestyle, or overcoming procrastination, they solidify your commitment to personal growth. Affirming “I am disciplined and focused” can redirect energy toward completing tasks and staying motivated. Decreases stress Focusing on calming and empowering thoughts during affirmations activates the body’s relaxation response, reducing stress. Redirecting mental energy away from worries promotes a sense of inner peace and balance. How to make affirmations more effective To fully unlock the benefits of affirmations, follow these practices: Commit to a routine Consistency plays a key role in making affirmations effective. Incorporating them into a daily practice, such as during your morning routine or right before bed, strengthens their impact. The more frequently they are practiced, the deeper they become embedded in your subconscious, reshaping mental patterns for long-term change. Set them in the present Affirmations are most powerful when framed in the present tense. Speaking to yourself as if the positive change is already happening makes the statements feel more tangible. Instead of saying, "I will be confident," say "I am confident." This approach strengthens the connection between thought and reality. Make them personal to you Affirmations that speak directly to your unique needs and challenges resonate more deeply. Crafting statements that feel authentic boosts their emotional impact, which makes the practice feel more genuine and effective. Avoid toxic positivity Affirmations should be realistic and grounded in compassion, not a denial of real challenges. Balancing positivity with authenticity keeps affirmations from feeling forced or disingenuous. Instead of glossing over difficulties, focus on affirmations that offer hope while acknowledging real feelings. Focus on what’s achievable Starting with small, manageable goals ensures that affirmations feel achievable rather than overwhelming. Building confidence from these small successes creates momentum, allowing for larger goals over time. This approach keeps the practice grounded and effective. Pair your affirmations with action Affirmations become even more powerful when they are followed by concrete actions. They should act as a catalyst for positive change, not a substitute for it. After repeating your affirmation, take tangible steps toward your goals, and celebrate each achievement along the way. 5 affirmations to start your practice Here are a few affirmations that can serve as starting points for building a healthier mindset: I am a strong, capable person This statement reinforces self-confidence and serves as a reminder of your inner strength, especially in moments of doubt. I am loved and accepted Affirming that you are worthy of love cultivates a deep sense of belonging, even in the face of external challenges. I am doing my best and that is enough Emphasizing self-compassion, this affirmation encourages acceptance of imperfections and honors the effort being put in. I can handle whatever comes my way This promotes a sense of resilience, reminding you that challenges can be met with strength and adaptability. I trust in my ability to navigate uncertainty Strengthening trust in your ability to handle unknowns builds confidence in managing life’s uncertainties with grace. When positive affirmations don’t work, try speaking with a mental health professional While affirmations can support mental health, not everyone finds success using them and some require  professional therapy, especially  when feelings of depression, anxiety, or hopelessness persist for an extended period.  A qualified therapist can offer personalized guidance and support based on your unique issues. If you would like expert help in taking better care of yourself, join Cerebral and work with someone who has experience caring for persons exactly like you. Positive mental effects from affirmations are possible. If they are used frequently, conveyed openly, and combined with constructive action, they may effect long-lasting change. Try powering up your thoughts to inner strength and positivity if you begin employing affirmations right away.

The demands of adulthood can feel relentless. The constant juggle of work and home responsibilities along with the expectation to be available online constantly makes achieving work-life balance increasingly elusive. It’s a surefire recipe for burnout.  Recognizing the signs of burnout and learning how to manage can be essential for maintaining mental health and overall well-being. {MiniWidget:Generic} What is burnout? Burnout is a state of emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion caused by prolonged or excessive stress. It often occurs when individuals feel overwhelmed, emotionally drained, and unable to meet constant demands. While it's commonly associated with work, burnout can also stem from other areas of life, such as caregiving, relationships, or academic pressures. Causes of burnout Several factors can contribute to burnout, including: Excessive workload If you’re consistently overloaded with work or responsibilities, it can lead to chronic stress and burnout. Lack of control Feeling like you have little or no control over your work or life circumstances can contribute to burnout. Unclear expectations When expectations are not clearly defined or constantly changing, it can create confusion and stress, leading to burnout. Dysfunctional workplace dynamics A toxic work environment, characterized by poor communication, lack of support, or unfair treatment, can significantly increase the risk of burnout. Work-life imbalance When work consistently takes precedence over personal life, it can lead to neglect of self-care, relationships, and hobbies, increasing the likelihood of burnout. Insufficient rewards Lack of recognition or inadequate compensation can decrease motivation and increase feelings of frustration. Lack of Support A lack of supportive relationships at work or home can exacerbate feelings of isolation and stress. Signs of Burnout Recognizing the signs of burnout is the first step toward addressing it. Common symptoms include: Physical Symptoms: Chronic fatigue, insomnia, headaches, and gastrointestinal issues. Emotional Symptoms: Feelings of helplessness, detachment, and a lack of motivation or satisfaction. Behavioral Changes: Increased irritability, withdrawal from responsibilities, and a decline in performance. The differences between burnout and depression Burnout and depression share similar symptoms, but they are distinct conditions. Burnout is usually linked to specific stressors (work, school, caregiving roles, etc) leading to exhaustion and decreased efficacy. On the other hand, depression is a broader mental health condition characterized by persistent sadness, a lack of interest in activities, and a pervasive sense of hopelessness. Tips for dealing with burnout If you're experiencing burnout, there are a few strategies you can implement to better manage it: Prioritize self-care: Make time for activities that nourish your mind, body, and soul, such as exercise, healthy eating, and relaxation techniques. Set boundaries: Learn to say no to additional work or commitments when you're already feeling overwhelmed. Delegate tasks: If possible, delegate tasks to others to reduce your workload. Take breaks: Step away from work regularly to recharge and avoid mental fatigue. Connect with others: Talk to friends, family, or a therapist about how you're feeling. Seek professional help: If self-care strategies aren't enough, consider seeking professional therapy to address burnout and develop coping mechanisms. How to prevent burnout Preventing burnout requires proactive measures to maintain a healthy work-life balance and manage stress effectively. Some preventive strategies include: Time management: Prioritize tasks, set realistic goals, and avoid procrastination. Stress management: Practice relaxation techniques, such as meditation or deep breathing exercises, to manage stress levels. Healthy lifestyle: Get enough sleep, eat nutritious meals, and exercise regularly to support your physical and mental well-being. Work-life balance: Set clear boundaries between work and personal life, and make time for activities you enjoy. Assertive communication: Learn to express your needs and concerns clearly and respectfully. How professional therapy can support your mental health If you're grappling with burnout, professional therapy may be able to support you in feeling better. A therapist may help you delve into the root causes of your burnout, exploring the underlying factors that have contributed to your current state. They may also equip you with healthy coping mechanisms to manage stress effectively and prevent future burnout. Additionally, a therapist may guide you in creating strategies to improve your work-life balance, establish clear boundaries, and prioritize self-care. Prolonged stress and burnout can happen to anyone. Overcoming burnout and reclaiming well-being may be possible by recognizing the signs, taking proactive steps to manage it, and seeking professional help when needed.  *The information in this blog is provided as a general educational resource only, and is not to be used or relied on for any diagnostic or treatment purpose. This information should not be used as a substitute for professional diagnosis and treatment and does not create any patient-physician relationship between you and Cerebral. Please consult your health care provider before making any health care decisions or to get guidance about a specific medical condition.