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Self-Care for Moms: Letting Go and Doing Less  Being a mom is a hugely rewarding journey, but day-to-day can be overwhelming, and it’s easy to forget to take care of yourself. Rather than adding the obvious self-care tasks to your to-do list, (Exercise! Eat well! Book time for a manicure!) caring for yourself can also take the form of doing less.  It's okay to let go of cultural expectations of the mom who “does it all” and embrace a mindset of simply doing enough. Here are some practical, achievable tips and strategies that can help create balance and refocus on what’s important in your life. Remember, you’re doing an amazing job even if you feel like you’re doing the bare minimum. Taking care of yourself now will only help you do better in the long run.  Start with rest You may already know that rest is the foundation of self-care, but if you’re a new mom it’s nearly impossible to get a full 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep. The trick is to get rest whenever and however you can: Ask your partner or a family member to watch the kids while you take a nap. Maybe you can book a sitter to allow yourself a well-deserved morning of sleeping in.  The biggest challenge is to avoid tackling your to-do list once you’ve bought yourself some free time. Leave the dishes in the sink and prioritize rest instead. Remember, doing less while well-rested is far more beneficial than trying to do it all on limited sleep. Forget perfection Let go of the pressure to be perfect in every aspect of your life. Instead, focus on what’s most important each day: If you need to work late to finish an important work project, you probably won’t plan, prep, and cook the most nutritious or photo-worthy meal that same night — that’s totally OK. Let the living room stay messy if it means spending a little more time helping the kids with their homework.  There will be days when it seems nothing went quite right, but remember that “off days” are part of the process. Get some rest (see above) and approach the next day with a recharged perspective. Fall in love with saying no Women in general, and especially moms, are socialized to make everyone around them happy. This means we end up saying “yes” to a lot of things we’d rather not do. Learning to say “no” can be liberating. Prioritize your well-being by saying “no” to non-important requests and invitations that may drain your energy and time. Focus on what truly matters to you and your family, and say “yes” to activities and commitments that align with your priorities. By setting boundaries and valuing your time, you'll have more energy and resources for what truly brings you joy. Don’t compete with your former self It's easy to compare yourself to a previous version of you. Maybe you used to run marathons and now you barely have time for a walk outside. Remember that circumstances are different now but that doesn’t mean you won’t be able to refocus and challenge yourself again in the future. Nothing is permanent, so accepting that some things need to be put on pause while you’re actively “momming” is key. One way to shift your perspective is to remember that kids grow up quickly — being present now instead of thinking of all the other things you “should” be doing will give you greater peace of mind.  Outsource, delegate, and ask for help You don't have to do it all alone. Delegate tasks and responsibilities to your partner, family members, or trusted friends. If you’re able, consider outsourcing certain aspects of your life, such as meal planning, grocery shopping, or household chores. Look at your responsibilities as a family CEO and seek assistance wherever possible. Remember, it's not a sign of weakness to ask for help—it's a testament to your strength and self-awareness. Tune out the noise In this age of social media and Insta-perfect “momfluencers,” it's easy to fall into a trap of comparison and self-doubt. One simple scroll through your feed can make you question how you feed, speak to, bathe, and clothe your kids. Remember, there are people and businesses who profit from you feeling inadequate, so unfollow those accounts and opt-out of "mom guilt" culture. Talk to someone There may be times you feel like you’re doing everything you can, but the emotions are still overwhelming. If so, you are not alone: A recent Harris poll found that 42% of surveyed working mothers were diagnosed with anxiety and/or depression last year. Not unlike childcare and household chores, you can lighten your mental and emotional load by asking for help. Cerebral offers online therapy with top-tier experts who have flexible appointment times (days, nights, and weekends), so you can easily fit this essential care into your busy schedule. And don’t worry if you don’t see results right away—it takes time to sustainably elevate your mood. Our new Strong Start packages help you make the commitment to reach your mental health goals. Start by taking a free assessment.  We hope this helps you prioritize what matters and care for yourself by doing less. And if you’re a mom who chooses to optimize your mental health with Cerebral, know that we’re here for every step of this incredible journey. 

According to research, women and men can develop bipolar I disorder at an equal rate, however, women are more likely to have bipolar II disorder and may also experience other co-occurring mental health conditions. But by increasing education around this diagnosis and seeking personalized treatment, women can still live thriving, fulfilled lives with bipolar.  In addition, the postpartum period is a time of high risk for onset and recurrence of BD in women, supporting the hypothesis that hormonal factors may play a role. However, researchers note that females are also more likely than males to experience sleep problems in the early days as a parent, which can also be a trigger. To learn more, we explore the different ways bipolar disorder manifests in women.  Associated conditions in women with bipolar disorder  1. Alcohol or Drug Use Individuals with bipolar disorder are at higher risk of alcohol and/or drug abuse.  In bipolar disorder, mania reduces one’s inhibitions. Alcohol and certain drugs have the same effect. Some people consume alcohol or recreational drugs to cope with the emotional discomfort brought about by their mental condition. As such, bringing them together can further decrease a person’s inhibitions which can lead to risky behaviors and regrettable consequences.  Research also shows that bipolar disorder contributes to substance use. Conversely, substance use may trigger changes in brain function and structure that can lead to mental disorders.  Essentially, mixing substance use with bipolar disorder can cause longer-lasting symptoms and a poorer response to treatment. 2. Attention-deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)  ADHD often co-exists in people with bipolar disorder. This can be characterized by inattention, where the person finds it difficult to sustain focus, is forgetful, distractible, and has trouble managing time and/or organizing tasks. It can also manifest as hyperactive symptoms, characterized by restlessness, fidgetiness, excessive talkativeness, completing other people’s sentences, or difficulty waiting their turn.  For others, it can mean acting without thinking or control and making rash decisions. Being impulsive can also include a desire for immediate rewards without considering long-term consequences.  3. Depressive episodes Research shows that women with bipolar disorder are twice as likely to experience depression and depressive symptoms than men with the condition.  Signs of a depression episode include: Difficulty concentrating Impaired sleep quality  Appetite disturbance Consistent feelings of being down, hopeless, and slow Losing interest in things that used to be enjoyable Speaking slowly and having difficulty communicating Thinking or speaking about death 4. Eating Disorders Studies show that people who are bipolar also experience eating issues. People who have bipolar disorder also often struggle with eating disorders. Individuals with bulimia nervosa may compulsively overeat then immediately “purge” their bodies of it by vomiting, using laxatives, or diuretics as a way to cope with shame or guilt. They often will eat by themselves or tend to consume food very quickly. Similarly, people with anorexia nervosa tend to skip meals or avoid eating out of marked fear of gaining or vary between purging and restricting food. People with anorexia will often count their calories, eat deliberately small amounts, or even weigh their food. They may also exercise excessively to counteract any possible weight gain that could result from eating.  5. Mania or Hypomania Mania is a state characterized by experiencing a  persistently elevated mood, with feelings of creativity, energy, and overall high spirits. At this time, people tend to exhibit more risky and reckless behaviors, like spending money impulsively, using substances, and engaging in increased sexual activity without awareness of harm or consequences.  Manic episodes can last for a week or more. For others, this can come with experiencing  staunchly held beliefs others do not share or can verify or see, feel or hear things others cannot.  Similarly, hypomania is a distinct episode characterized by less intense symptoms as described above and lasts anywhere between 4-7 days. Though people still experience elevated moods, the degree to which they do so is less than in mania. 6. Obesity Studies show that those who are obese are more likely to have bipolar disorder than other mental health conditions.  Inactivity and poor eating habits are believed to be the primary reason for this. However, some bipolar disorder medications can stimulate appetite or cause weight gain contributing to this issue.  Furthermore, this can lead to more serious and long-term health conditions like diabetes, heart disease, high blood pressure, and high cholesterol. 7. Psychosis Bipolar psychosis is rare but occurs when someone experiences perceptual disturbances in conjunction with a severe or depression episode. Often, the themes of these symptoms tend to match the person’s mood at the time.  For instance, during a manic phase, one may experience grandiose thoughts in which they may falsely believe that they are famous, rich, or possess special powers, which may result in dangerous or reckless behavior. During a depression episode, one may feel they have committed a crime or harmed others, thus triggering feelings of worry, fear, or sadness.  Bipolar psychosis can last varying amounts of time. Treatment aims to resolve or decrease each individual's own constellation of symptoms as quickly as possible.  How to Seek Help While there is no particular cure for bipolar disorder, it’s extremely important to get care and support to manage symptoms and thrive despite the condition. People can live long and successful lives with the right treatment.  First, be sure to take any prescribed medication as directed by your provider, which can help to balance out your moods. Women are more likely to experience side effects (drowsiness, nausea, and weight gain), and it’s helpful to talk to your doctor about whether or not to adjust your medication.  Importantly, along with any medication you might be taking, therapy has been found to be immensely helpful. Therapy helps people manage their symptoms by helping them to recognize triggers, learn coping strategies and act in new and different ways. Importantly, along with any medication you might be taking, therapy has been found to be immensely helpful. Therapy helps people manage their symptoms by allowing them to recognize triggers and learn coping mechanisms.  Cerebral works to make mental health support and treatment available, affordable, and accessible for all. If you or anyone you know is suffering from bipolar disorder and its manifestations, know that we’re here for you, and we’re ready to help. Get started.

Romantic relationships can be really hard work!  Whether you’ve just met or you’ve been together for a while, it can be hard to tell from the inside if your relationship is healthy. And if you have a particularly challenging history with relationships, it can be even more difficult.  This is especially true when you’re in the honeymoon phase of your relationship. If you’re in a new relationship, you probably see your partner through a pair of rose-colored glasses. You might see them as the most fantastic, perfect person in the world.  Rose-colored glasses make it much harder to tell whether your relationship is healthy or not. This quote from BoJack Horseman sums it up well:  “When you look at someone through rose-colored glasses, all the red flags just look like flags.” Ignoring red flags and ending up in a toxic relationship can do some major damage to your mental health. It’s important to know what a healthy relationship is like so that you don’t end up in a toxic situation.  So what does a healthy relationship look like? Not every relationship looks the same. However, there are some definitive signs that can help you see if yours is healthy. Here are a few: Signs of a healthy relationship You trust each other When you’re in a healthy relationship, you have to be able to trust each other. This means trusting them with things like staying faithful, spending money, and making parenting decisions. Without a sense of trust, there’s no sense of security. That means there’s no solid foundation for you to build a healthy connection.  Your lives don’t revolve around each other It’s important for both your relationship and your mental health to have a life and identity of your own. That means not dropping your friends, hobbies, or interests just because you’re in a relationship. Your partner is meant to enhance your life, not become your life. There’s a misconception that your partner is supposed to ‘complete’ you. Believing that can lead to toxic and codependent relationships.  You communicate openly and honestly with each other Being able to open up to one another is an essential part of every healthy relationship. This means feeling safe to talk about what’s going on in your life and things that are on your mind. This can take time. Your partner might not understand your communication style right away, and vice versa. Dr. Gary Chapman, author of The 5 Love Languages, suggests sometimes it takes a bit of time to learn and adjust to how your partner speaks and hears love. You’re comfortable around one another Being able to be yourself around your partner is a good sign that they are accepting and that your connection is strong.  Do you find yourself walking on eggshells or being uncomfortable and anxious around your partner? That may be your body telling you that there’s something wrong.  You handle and resolve conflict together Just because you’re in a healthy relationship doesn’t mean that you’ll never fight. In fact, every healthy relationship involves conflict. Being able to handle conflict effectively with your partner is a good sign of a healthy dynamic. This means that when you and your partner fight, you handle it together as a team. You address the issue together and find a way to compromise with one another. You keep the intimacy alive Physical intimacy like sex or cuddling is important in a relationship. This can vary over time, but making sure you’re keeping that part of your relationship alive is part of being in a healthy relationship. You should also keep the emotional intimacy alive in your relationship. This could look like checking in with each other regularly or doing meaningful activities together. Or, it could mean trying something new together. You spend a healthy amount of time together It’s important to maintain your individuality outside of your relationship. Yet, that doesn’t mean that you have to lead entirely separate lives. Being in a healthy relationship includes spending quality time with one another. You could go on regular date nights, exercise together, or plan a trip together. You respect one another Respect is an extremely important part of being in a healthy relationship. Respect can mean setting healthy relationship boundaries with one another. It also means respecting those boundaries when they are enforced. It can also mean respecting each other’s differences and needs. This includes not devaluing or belittling your partner to their face or behind their back. You’re affectionate and playful with one another Who wants to be in a boring relationship? If you can joke around and be lighthearted with each other, that’s a great sign that your relationship is on healthy ground.  Sharing playful moments and being affectionate with one another can help you build a strong relationship and deepen your connection.  You’re interested in each other’s lives Being genuinely curious about your partner and their thoughts, wishes, desires, or mundane daily activities is a surefire sign that you’re in a healthy partnership.  This goes both ways. Your partner should be interested in your thoughts, wishes, desires, or whatever makes you tick.  It can be hard to tell from the inside whether you’re in a healthy relationship. But, these signs are a great place to start. If you’re having relationship difficulties, it can help to do individual therapy before doing couples counseling. Sometimes we bring past relationship experiences into our current one without realizing it. Working with a therapist on your own can help you process them. Even if you’re in a healthy relationship, seeing an individual therapist can help you develop communication and conflict resolution skills. They can act as an outside observer and give you an unbiased perspective on your relationship that your friends or family can’t give you. They can also help you see whether you or your partner are exhibiting healthy boundaries in relationships. No matter where you’re at in your relationship journey, Cerebral can help! These resources are a great place to start: What is My Attachment Style? The 5 Love Languages 6 Steps to Nurture Your Inner Child How to Meditate: A Guide for Beginners Distress Tolerance Skills Clinically reviewed by Scott Tony Reigle, PhD, LPC, CCTP-II, CCFP