How to Set Boundaries During the Holidays
The holiday season can be a time of connection and joy, but for most of us, it’s not all cozy vibes and happy reunions. For many people, the holidays can also bring stress, overcommitment, and tough conversations. Between family gatherings, endless invitations, and financial pressures, you might feel that you’re getting stretched too thin. That’s where boundaries come in. Setting healthy boundaries during the holidays isn’t about being selfish — it’s about protecting your time, energy, and mental health so you can actually enjoy the season. When you know your limits and communicate them clearly, the holidays can feel a lot less overwhelming and a lot more meaningful. In this blog, we’ll talk about what boundaries are, why they’re so important, and how to set them during the busiest time of the year. What are boundaries and why are they important? The simplest definition of having boundaries is to set personal limits for yourself and your life that allow you to protect your well-being and live a life that’s aligned with your values. Boundaries can be about so much more than just saying “no” — they’re also about creating space for the things that matter to you and preserving your emotional, physical, and mental energy. Being able to set boundaries is one of the most important parts of having healthy relationships. When you know your limits and communicate them, you’re not only protecting your own needs but also fostering mutual respect. This can strengthen your connections with others and reduce misunderstandings or resentment. Some specific benefits of setting boundaries include: Reducing stress by saying no to commitments that don’t serve you. Feeling more in control of your time, energy, and finances. Protecting your mental health by creating space for rest and self-care. Without boundaries, it can be easy to feel overwhelmed, overcommitted, or emotionally drained — especially during the holidays. Tips for setting boundaries during the holidays Even if you typically are able to set healthy boundaries, the holiday season could still be a tricky time to navigate. For many people, the holidays mean extra family members, social gatherings, financial constraints, and additional pressure at work. Your boundaries may need to be stronger than ever to protect your time, energy, and emotional well-being. Here, we’ve gathered our top 3 tips to help you keep your boundaries strong and healthy throughout the holiday season. Identify what your boundaries are First, you need to know what your boundaries are — and this is something only you can decide. Everyone has different limits when it comes to family, finances, and work. For example, you might feel comfortable attending one or two family gatherings during the holidays, but not more than that. Or you may want to set a strict spending limit for gifts to avoid financial stress. Take some time to reflect on what feels manageable for you. Think about past holidays and what worked — or didn’t work — for your mental health. Try asking yourself: What activities or commitments bring me joy? What obligations leave me feeling drained or overwhelmed? Are there any traditions or expectations I want to change this year? Once you’ve identified your boundaries, you may feel more confident about sticking to them when situations arise. Learn how to say “no” We’ve already said that having boundaries is about more than saying “no.” But if you aren’t able to say “no,” even to things that you know aren’t good for you, it’s hard to enforce any kind of boundary. Saying “no” doesn’t have to be harsh or confrontational. It’s about being firm but respectful. If someone invites you to something you’re not comfortable with, try a polite but clear response like: “Thanks so much for the invite, but I already have plans.” “I really appreciate you thinking of me, but I need some time to myself this week.” “That sounds amazing, but it’s outside of my budget this year.” It’s okay to keep your responses simple — there’s no need to over-explain or apologize. Communicate clearly and put them into practice The first part of having boundaries is knowing, for yourself, what they are. The second part – and arguably the more important part – is establishing them by communicating them to other people.
It’s important to be as clear and direct as possible when sharing your boundaries. For example, if you’ve decided not to host this year’s holiday dinner, let your family know early on so they can adjust their plans. If you need time to recharge, let your loved ones know that you might not be as available as usual. When communicating boundaries, use “I” statements to focus on your needs rather than blaming or criticizing others. For example: “I’ve decided I need to stick to my budget this year, so I won’t be able to join the group trip.” “I need to take some time off to rest, so I’ll be skipping this week’s gathering.” Once you’ve communicated your boundaries, stick to them. Remember, setting boundaries is about protecting your own well-being, and it’s not selfish to prioritize your needs. Examples of holiday boundaries in action Still feeling unsure about what setting holiday boundaries looks like in practice? Here are some examples of what you can say to set common types of boundaries this season. Holiday budget Reports show that most Americans face worries about finances this time of year. And it’s no wonder, with the rising cost of gifts, travel, and social events. Setting a clear budget can help you manage your spending and avoid the stress of overspending.
Example: Your friend wants to go on a holiday getaway, but you’re trying to save money. It’s simply out of your budget. How to set your boundary: “That sounds like such a fun trip, but I’m sticking to my budget this year and can’t swing it. Let’s plan a day to hang out locally instead!” Saying “no” to holiday plans An overbooked social calendar can also be reason to set some boundaries this season. Example: Your calendar is already filled with holiday plans. You get invited to an additional family event, but you’re exhausted and need some time for yourself.
How to set your boundary: “Thanks for the invite! I’ve already committed to a lot this week, so I’m going to sit this one out. Let’s catch up soon, though!” Taking time off from work It can feel almost impossible to keep up with both family responsibilities and work commitments this time of year, and it’s understandable to want to take time off. But depending on your work culture, you may need to be more firm about setting these boundaries. Example: Communicating you will be taking time off during the holidays to your colleagues.
How to set your boundary: “I’ll be out of the office from December 24th to January 2nd. I won’t be checking emails during this time, but I’m happy to help wrap things up before I leave!” Getting professional mental health support IThe holidays can be stressful, and boundary-setting can be really tough. If you’re feeling overwhelmed or unsure how to navigate the season, seeking professional mental health support can make a big difference. A therapist can help you identify your limits and work with you on learning new strategies to communicate them effectively. A therapist can also guide you in managing the emotions that often come with setting boundaries, like guilt or anxiety.
Additionally, mental health support can help you recognize and address any deeper patterns that make boundary-setting challenging. If you tend to overcommit or prioritize others’ needs at the expense of your own, therapy can help you break those cycles and practice self-compassion. If you live with underlying mental health concerns like depression, then a mental health professional can also help you look at options for medication.
At Cerebral, we offer flexible plans for therapy, medication management, or both — designed to help you manage holiday stress, strengthen your boundaries, and protect your mental health year-round.
Get started with Cerebral today for only $30/month (plus your deductibles and copays) and take the first step toward a more peaceful holiday season.
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