Understanding Your Attachment Style: A Deep Dive into Relationship Patterns

The holiday season can be a time of connection and joy, but for most of us, it’s not all cozy vibes and happy reunions. For many people, the holidays can also bring stress, overcommitment, and tough conversations. Between family gatherings, endless invitations, and financial pressures, you might feel that you’re getting stretched too thin. That’s where boundaries come in. Setting healthy boundaries during the holidays isn’t about being selfish — it’s about protecting your time, energy, and mental health so you can actually enjoy the season. When you know your limits and communicate them clearly, the holidays can feel a lot less overwhelming and a lot more meaningful. In this blog, we’ll talk about what boundaries are, why they’re so important, and how to set them during the busiest time of the year. What are boundaries and why are they important? The simplest definition of having boundaries is to set personal limits for yourself and your life that allow you to protect your well-being and live a life that’s aligned with your values. Boundaries can be about so much more than just saying “no” — they’re also about creating space for the things that matter to you and preserving your emotional, physical, and mental energy. Being able to set boundaries is one of the most important parts of having healthy relationships. When you know your limits and communicate them, you’re not only protecting your own needs but also fostering mutual respect. This can strengthen your connections with others and reduce misunderstandings or resentment. Some specific benefits of setting boundaries include: Reducing stress by saying no to commitments that don’t serve you. Feeling more in control of your time, energy, and finances. Protecting your mental health by creating space for rest and self-care. Without boundaries, it can be easy to feel overwhelmed, overcommitted, or emotionally drained — especially during the holidays. Tips for setting boundaries during the holidays Even if you typically are able to set healthy boundaries, the holiday season could still be a tricky time to navigate. For many people, the holidays mean extra family members, social gatherings, financial constraints, and additional pressure at work. Your boundaries may need to be stronger than ever to protect your time, energy, and emotional well-being. Here, we’ve gathered our top 3 tips to help you keep your boundaries strong and healthy throughout the holiday season. Identify what your boundaries are First, you need to know what your boundaries are — and this is something only you can decide. Everyone has different limits when it comes to family, finances, and work. For example, you might feel comfortable attending one or two family gatherings during the holidays, but not more than that. Or you may want to set a strict spending limit for gifts to avoid financial stress. Take some time to reflect on what feels manageable for you. Think about past holidays and what worked — or didn’t work — for your mental health. Try asking yourself: What activities or commitments bring me joy? What obligations leave me feeling drained or overwhelmed? Are there any traditions or expectations I want to change this year? Once you’ve identified your boundaries, you may feel more confident about sticking to them when situations arise. Learn how to say “no” We’ve already said that having boundaries is about more than saying “no.” But if you aren’t able to say “no,” even to things that you know aren’t good for you, it’s hard to enforce any kind of boundary. Saying “no” doesn’t have to be harsh or confrontational. It’s about being firm but respectful. If someone invites you to something you’re not comfortable with, try a polite but clear response like: “Thanks so much for the invite, but I already have plans.” “I really appreciate you thinking of me, but I need some time to myself this week.” “That sounds amazing, but it’s outside of my budget this year.” It’s okay to keep your responses simple — there’s no need to over-explain or apologize. Communicate clearly and put them into practice The first part of having boundaries is knowing, for yourself, what they are. The second part – and arguably the more important part – is establishing them by communicating them to other people. It’s important to be as clear and direct as possible when sharing your boundaries. For example, if you’ve decided not to host this year’s holiday dinner, let your family know early on so they can adjust their plans. If you need time to recharge, let your loved ones know that you might not be as available as usual. When communicating boundaries, use “I” statements to focus on your needs rather than blaming or criticizing others. For example: “I’ve decided I need to stick to my budget this year, so I won’t be able to join the group trip.” “I need to take some time off to rest, so I’ll be skipping this week’s gathering.” Once you’ve communicated your boundaries, stick to them. Remember, setting boundaries is about protecting your own well-being, and it’s not selfish to prioritize your needs. Examples of holiday boundaries in action Still feeling unsure about what setting holiday boundaries looks like in practice? Here are some examples of what you can say to set common types of boundaries this season. Holiday budget Reports show that most Americans face worries about finances this time of year. And it’s no wonder, with the rising cost of gifts, travel, and social events. Setting a clear budget can help you manage your spending and avoid the stress of overspending. Example: Your friend wants to go on a holiday getaway, but you’re trying to save money. It’s simply out of your budget. How to set your boundary: “That sounds like such a fun trip, but I’m sticking to my budget this year and can’t swing it. Let’s plan a day to hang out locally instead!” Saying “no” to holiday plans An overbooked social calendar can also be reason to set some boundaries this season. Example: Your calendar is already filled with holiday plans. You get invited to an additional family event, but you’re exhausted and need some time for yourself. How to set your boundary: “Thanks for the invite! I’ve already committed to a lot this week, so I’m going to sit this one out. Let’s catch up soon, though!” Taking time off from work It can feel almost impossible to keep up with both family responsibilities and work commitments this time of year, and it’s understandable to want to take time off. But depending on your work culture, you may need to be more firm about setting these boundaries. Example: Communicating you will be taking time off during the holidays to your colleagues. How to set your boundary: “I’ll be out of the office from December 24th to January 2nd. I won’t be checking emails during this time, but I’m happy to help wrap things up before I leave!” Getting professional mental health support IThe holidays can be stressful, and boundary-setting can be really tough. If you’re feeling overwhelmed or unsure how to navigate the season, seeking professional mental health support can make a big difference. A therapist can help you identify your limits and work with you on learning new strategies to communicate them effectively. A therapist can also guide you in managing the emotions that often come with setting boundaries, like guilt or anxiety.  Additionally, mental health support can help you recognize and address any deeper patterns that make boundary-setting challenging. If you tend to overcommit or prioritize others’ needs at the expense of your own, therapy can help you break those cycles and practice self-compassion. If you live with underlying mental health concerns like depression, then a mental health professional can also help you look at options for medication.  At Cerebral, we offer flexible plans for therapy, medication management, or both — designed to help you manage holiday stress, strengthen your boundaries, and protect your mental health year-round.  Get started with Cerebral today for only $30/month (plus your deductibles and copays) and take the first step toward a more peaceful holiday season. Image by RDNE Stock project on Pexels

5 Self-Care Tips for the Holidays The holiday season is upon us. And while it’s often described as the most wonderful time of the year, for many of us, it may also be one of the most stressful. According to the American Psychological Association, 9 out of 10 adults say that the holidays are a source of stress. Between family gatherings, last-minute shopping, and packed social calendars, it can be easy to feel overwhelmed.  That’s where self-care comes in. Taking care of yourself during this busy time isn’t selfish — it’s necessary. When you prioritize your mental and emotional health, you’re better equipped to handle the holiday season with balance and ease. In this article, we’ll explore what self-care means, why it’s so important, and how you can include simple, effective self-care practices into your holiday routine. {MiniWidget:Anxiety} What is self-care and why is it important? Self-care is often misunderstood as indulgence or luxury — you might imagine going to the spa or taking a vacation — but in reality, it can be far more than that. At its core, self-care involves recognizing and meeting your physical, emotional, and mental health needs. It’s a proactive effort to protect your overall well-being — something that’s particularly important during the hectic holiday season. Benefits of self-care Studies show that self-care is essential for maintaining both physical and mental health.  Some specific benefits of self-care include: Stress reduction: Engaging in self-care activities, like intentionally relaxing, connecting with loved ones, or even just getting enough sleep, can help lower stress levels by giving your mind and body a chance to reset. This is an important benefit, because research shows that chronic stress can take a big toll on your health, and can even lead to issues like gastrointestinal problems and a weakened immune system.  Improved mental health: Many self-care practices, like mindfulness, regular exercise, getting restful sleep, and strengthening your relationships have been shown to reduce feelings of anxiety and improve mood over time. On the flip side, not engaging in important self-care, like not getting enough sleep, can put you at higher risk for mental health concerns like depression. Stronger resilience: Regular self-care can strengthen your resilience, which means that it becomes easier to recover from challenges and setbacks. Life can come with bumps in the road, but when you’re more resilient, you’re able to bounce back more quickly. You’re also more protected against mental health disorders like depression and anxiety. Better relationships: When you make self-care a priority, you’re often better equipped to show up for others. Feeling balanced and less overwhelmed may allow you to connect more authentically, communicate effectively, and maintain healthier relationships. During the holidays, neglecting your self-care can make you end up feeling physically exhausted, irritated, and emotionally drained. By intentionally setting aside time to care for yourself, you can maintain a sense of balance and enjoy the season more fully. Here are 5 ways to practice self-care Self-care doesn’t have to be complicated or time-consuming. Try these 5 simple self-care strategies this season — they’re simple, but they may help the holidays feel more manageable. 1. Schedule time for yourself It might feel impossible to carve out time for yourself during the holidays, but it’s one of the most important self-care practices you can have. Even 10 to 15 minutes a day that you can dedicate to activities like meditating, journaling, or simply sitting quietly can make a big difference. For example, one study found that just 15 minutes a day of meditation has similar benefits for well-being and stress reduction as being on vacation for the day. Treat this time as non-negotiable, like any other important commitment. 2. Set boundaries The holidays often come along with increased obligations — family gatherings, work parties, and social commitments. While these can be fun, they can also start to feel overwhelming if you don’t set clear boundaries. Learning to say “no” is a powerful act of self-care. Communicate your limits with kindness but firmness. Setting boundaries helps you save your energy so that you can focus on the activities and people that truly matter to you. 3. Eat a well-balanced diet While some may choose to indulge over the holidays, maintaining a balanced diet can help you feel more energized and less stressed.  That doesn’t mean you have to skip the desserts and eggnog — just aim for moderation. Balancing indulgent treats with nourishing foods can stabilize your blood sugar and improve your mood. In addition, don’t overdo it with alcohol — it may feel like it makes social events easier, but it could actually increase anxiety in the long run. 4. Practice gratitude Gratitude is a simple but effective way to improve your mental health. While it’s completely normal to feel a mix of different emotions this time of year, including grief, resentment, and even anger, studies show that regularly practicing gratitude can increase feelings of happiness and reduce stress. One way to start a regular gratitude practice is by keeping a gratitude journal. Each night, write down three things you’re thankful for — no matter how small. Over time, this practice can help shift your focus from what’s going wrong to what’s going right.  5. Engage in hobbies you enjoy Hobbies are more than just pastimes; they’re a form of self-expression and stress relief. Whether you enjoy painting, baking, reading, or gardening, making time for your favorite activities can help you feel more grounded and in tune with yourself. Research has found that engaging in enjoyable leisure activities and hobbies can significantly boost happiness and overall life satisfaction. Even a few minutes a day dedicated to something you love can provide a meaningful mental break. Seeking out professional support When people think of getting professional mental health support like therapy, they often associate it with addressing mental health disorders or navigating significant life crises. While therapy can absolutely support those needs, it’s also a profoundly effective form of self-care. Therapy isn’t just about dealing with problems; it can also be about focusing on your well-being, deepening self-awareness, and building a stronger relationship with yourself. Therapy is designed to give you a unique space — a space that’s entirely yours. It’s a dedicated time to check in with your thoughts and feelings, away from the demands of daily life. Just like journaling or mindfulness, it’s a way to process your experiences and gain clarity — but with the added benefit of professional guidance. And during the holidays, a therapist can help you identify what it is that you need to feel your best. A therapist can also help you explore the barriers that might prevent you from fully embracing self-care, such as guilt or a lack of boundaries, and work with you to create healthier habits. It’s a way of saying, “I value myself enough to invest in my growth and happiness.” By prioritizing therapy as part of your self-care routine, you’re going beyond responding to problems — you’re building emotional resilience, improving your self-awareness, and creating a toolkit of skills that can support you through any season of life. Get started with Cerebral Cerebral makes it easy for you to get professional mental healthcare, whether you live with a mental health condition or you just want some extra support. Start Cerebral now for only $30 per month (plus your insurance copay and deductibles). Image from Pexels

As the seasons start to shift, many of us may feel a change in our sleep patterns — and our mood. With shorter days and longer nights, it can be tough to maintain a consistent sleep routine. While many believe sleep is crucial for our health and well-being, it often ends up on the back burner when life gets busy. This time of year, filled with hectic schedules and added stress, can make it even harder to prioritize getting enough rest. But understanding the science behind our sleep-wake cycle can help us appreciate why sleep matters so much, even when life feels demanding. In this article, we’ll dive into how our sleep-wake cycle impacts our mood and share some practical tips to help you enjoy more restful sleep at night. What is the sleep-wake cycle? The sleep-wake cycle, also known as the circadian rhythm, is your body’s natural clock. It regulates our daily rhythms of alertness and sleep over each 24-hour period. The circadian rhythm also plays a role in things like appetite, digestion, and hormone release. Humans aren’t the only species to have a circadian rhythm — almost every living thing has some sort of circadian rhythm, including plants, animals, and even microorganisms. Your sleep-wake cycle responds to environmental cues like light and temperature, which help you feel more alert during the day and ready for rest at night. It’s managed by a small part of the brain called the suprachiasmatic nucleus (SCN), located in the hypothalamus. The sleep-wake cycle depends on a complex balance of hormones, especially melatonin and cortisol. As evening approaches and light fades, melatonin levels rise to prepare the body for sleep. Cortisol levels peak in the morning to promote wakefulness and energy. Keeping this natural rhythm steady supports not just physical health but also mood and mental clarity. When this rhythm falls out of sync — whether it’s from shift work, travel across time zones, or just an irregular sleep schedule — it can disrupt this natural balance. These disruptions can make it harder to focus, impact judgment, and increase emotional sensitivity.  Research shows that ongoing disturbances to the circadian rhythm are linked to mental health disorders, including depression and anxiety. For example, studies suggest that shift workers — who tend to have inconsistent sleep schedules — often report higher stress levels and worse mood. Can sleep affect our mood? Getting quality sleep each night is an essential part of maintaining good mental health. Scientists are still learning more, but there are brain functions that can only happen while you’re sleeping. When you get enough quality sleep at night, you help your brain work well while you’re awake. On the flip side, being sleep-deprived may lead to irritability, stress, and even contribute to mood disorders like depression and anxiety. The connection between sleep and your mental health Sleep profoundly influences our mental health through a combination of physiological and psychological mechanisms. Scientists are still trying to understand why, exactly, we need to sleep. But they do know that sleep facilitates crucial processes that restore the brain and regulate emotions, many of which only happen while we’re asleep. There are two broad categories of sleep: REM (Rapid Eye Movement) and non-REM sleep. They both play distinct roles in emotional regulation. During REM sleep, your brain sorts through emotional experiences and memories, which reduces emotional distress and builds resilience. This stage is important for managing complex feelings and keeping emotional reactions in check. On the other hand, non-REM sleep, especially the deeper stages, is essential for recharging your body and mind. It restores physical energy, supports your mood, and strengthens your ability to think clearly, which promotes balance and focus throughout the day. Quality sleep is also important to help your brain to: Strengthen working memory Repair and maintain neural connections Process and regulate emotions Clear out “brain waste” by removing unimportant information Consolidate new learning and insights Support immune response and stress management Sleep and mood disorders Sleep problems and mood disorders, like bipolar disorder, share a complex and often intertwined relationship, which means that each may affect the other.  Being sleep-deprived can make mood disorders worse and can even trigger manic episodes. Additionally, living with a mood disorder can make it much more difficult to get quality sleep.  In depression, for example, individuals often experience insomnia or early morning awakenings, which can intensify feelings of fatigue, despair, and hopelessness during the day. Other people with depression can experience hypersomnia, or sleeping too much — which can lead to increased lethargy and disinterest in daily activities.  People in manic episodes experience a decreased need for sleep, which if prolonged is formally recognized as one in a group of symptoms of bipolar disorder. Not sleeping for days may heighten impacts of mania, after which some people may experience a crash into the opposite mood – a depressive episode involving days of increased sleep. Sleep disturbances are the most commonly reported symptom of depression, and research has found that up to 90% of people with depression get poor quality sleep. Sleep problems have also been linked to more severe depression symptoms and a higher risk of suicide. How the seasons affect sleep-wake cycles Seasonal changes can have a big impact on your sleep-wake cycle, especially if you live in an area (like Northern states) with more drastic changes in daylight hours throughout the year.  Our bodies rely on natural light to keep our circadian rhythms in sync with the 24-hour day. With fewer hours of sunlight in the winter, the circadian rhythm can get out of sync — which makes waking up and going to sleep at regular times harder and leaves many people feeling tired, foggy, or just “off.”  For some people, this shift in light can even contribute to Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), a mental health condition where you experience depression or mania in response to seasonal changes. Melatonin, the hormone that makes us feel ready for sleep, depends on light cues, and are released during darkness. When there’s less light in winter, melatonin levels may stay higher in the morning, which can cause daytime drowsiness, or rise early in the evening, which can make people feel sluggish.  Light exposure also influences serotonin—a neurotransmitter tied to happiness and energy. Less sunlight in winter may lower serotonin levels, which often reduces energy and makes people feel emotionally sensitive. Tips for getting quality sleep Getting a good night's sleep can make a big difference in how you feel each day, and there are simple steps you can take to improve your sleep quality.  Here are some tips to help you achieve restful sleep: Get sunlight during the day: Exposure to natural light during the day helps regulate your circadian rhythm and can lead to better sleep at night. Try to spend at least 20 to 30 minutes outdoors, especially in the morning. Even sitting by a window with natural light can have positive effects. If you live somewhere with very dark winters, try a light therapy box. Regular exercise: Engaging in physical activity can help you sleep better and for longer. Aim for at least 30 minutes of moderate exercise most days — but it's best to avoid vigorous workouts close to bedtime, as they can energize your body and make it harder to wind down afterwards. Gentle activities like yoga or stretching in the evening can also help relax your muscles and prepare your body for rest. Be mindful of caffeine consumption: Consuming caffeine in the afternoon or evening can disrupt your ability to fall asleep. Try to limit your intake to morning hours and consider switching to decaffeinated beverages in the afternoon. Remember that caffeine can linger in your system for several hours. Reduce irregular or long naps: While napping can help replenish energy, taking long or irregular naps during the day can interfere with nighttime sleep. If you feel the need to nap, aim for short naps of 20 to 30 minutes in the early afternoon. This approach can boost your mood and alertness during the day without disrupting your nighttime rest. Refrain from using electronics before bed: The blue light emitted by phones and computers can inhibit the production of melatonin, the hormone that facilitates sleep. Try to power down electronic devices at least an hour before bedtime. Instead, engage in relaxing activities that don’t involve screens, such as reading a physical book, journaling, or practicing deep breathing exercises. Set up a night routine: Establish a calming pre-sleep routine to signal to your body that it’s time to wind down. This could include activities like reading, meditating, or taking a warm bath. Consider dimming the lights in your home during this time to further signal your brain that bedtime is approaching. Creating a consistent routine helps your body recognize when it's time to sleep, and makes it easier to relax and transition into a restful state.  Seek professional support If you’ve tried improving your sleep habits but still struggle with sleep issues or feel like your sleep-wake cycle is out-of-sync, reaching out to a professional can provide valuable guidance. A mental health expert can offer insights into your symptoms and provide helpful, evidence-backed support. Rule out a sleep disorder If you’re struggling with sleep issues even after practicing good sleep hygiene, it’s essential to consult with a healthcare provider to identify any underlying sleep disorders. Conditions like sleep apnea or insomnia can disrupt your sleep patterns and have a significant impact on your mental health.  A professional can assess your symptoms and discuss tests or evaluations to pinpoint any specific concerns. Difficulties may persist or worsen if these underlying disorders are not identified and addressed. How mental health treatment can help Fortunately, when it comes to improving sleep, there are several therapeutic approaches and medications that you and a mental health professional can explore: Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy for Insomnia (CBT-I) targets the thoughts and behaviors that interfere with your sleep. This structured program can help you develop healthier sleep patterns and identify, and change, the unhelpful thinking patterns that make both insomnia and depression worse. Mindfulness-based therapies focus on relaxation techniques that promote better sleep by reducing anxiety and stress. Other therapeutic approaches, such as acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), can also help address sleep-related issues. Medications may offer short-term relief for sleep disturbances. Antidepressant medication can also treat any depression symptoms that could be making your sleep troubles worse. Get mental health support with Cerebral! Image by jcomp on Freepik