How Couples Therapy Benefits Every Relationship Stage

Relationship Anxiety: Understand the Signs and Ways to Cope Relationships have the potential to bring immense joy, yet for many individuals, they can also become a significant source of anxiety. If you find yourself worrying about your partner’s feelings or constantly seeking reassurance, you might be experiencing relationship anxiety.  This type of anxiety often stems from past experiences or personal insecurities, which may have led you to have concerns about trust and commitment. The good news is that by identifying the signs, implementing strategies, and exploring Couples Therapy, you could create a more balanced and fulfilling relationship.  In this article, we’ll explore the signs that could suggest you’re experiencing relationship anxiety. Additionally, we’re sharing six practical tips to help you effectively manage and overcome it. {MiniWidget:Anxiety} Understanding the signs of relationship anxiety Relationship anxiety isn’t a formally recognized anxiety disorder. Although there isn’t a common consensus on its definition in the scientific community, it generally refers to when people have intense fears or worries about their relationships, especially their primary (intimate) relationship. It’s normal to feel some anxiety in a relationship, especially in the early stages or when trust has been shaken, such as dealing with infidelity. But if you’re feeling anxious on a regular basis, even when your relationship isn’t in crisis, then it could be a sign of relationship anxiety. Here are 11 signs of relationship anxiety: 1. You need constant reassurance You seek constant reassurance from your partner about their feelings and commitment. This need could stem from insecurities or past experiences that lead you to doubt the stability of your relationship. 2. You overthink interactions You find yourself overanalyzing every conversation and interaction you have with your partner. You replay what was said or done and worry about how they perceived your actions, which makes you feel even more stressed and confused. 3. You fear abandonment You experience a pervasive fear of being abandoned or left alone, and it significantly impacts your relationship. This fear may cause you to cling to your partner or act in ways that push them away. 4. You have difficulty trusting You find it challenging to trust your partner, even if they’ve done nothing to betray your trust. You often find yourself questioning their words or actions. This lack of trust can lead to feelings of suspicion and paranoia, and put a heavy strain on the relationship. 5. You are preoccupied with the relationship You may feel an overwhelming focus on your relationship, prioritizing it above your own needs and interests. This preoccupation can lead to obsessive thoughts and feelings that make it difficult to maintain a healthy balance in your life. 6. You experience jealousy and insecurity You frequently feel jealous or insecure about your partner’s interactions with others. These feelings often stem from a lack of self-confidence or a fear of losing your partner to someone you perceive as “better.” This insecurity might cause you to accuse your partner of betraying you even when they haven’t. 7. You doubt your partner’s feelings You frequently find yourself doubting your partner’s feelings toward you. This uncertainty can stem from past experiences or insecurities, but it could also be a sign of underlying self-esteem issues. Regardless of the reason, it can cause you to question their love or commitment. 8. You avoid conflict You tend to avoid addressing conflicts or difficult conversations for fear of upsetting your partner. This avoidance can lead to unresolved issues and resentment, which can ultimately harm the relationship over time. You might even experience self-silencing, which is when you suppress your inner voice and needs just to please your partner and avoid conflict. 9. You have intense emotional reactions You may experience intense emotional reactions to perceived slights or misunderstandings. These reactions can include anger, sadness, or frustration. They may be hard to understand from your partner’s point-of-view when they don’t understand the inner struggle that may be happening for you. 10. You notice physical symptoms of stress You might experience physical manifestations of stress, such as a racing heart, sweating, or stomach issues, especially during interactions with your partner or when you think about relationship challenges. 11. You seek control You may feel compelled to control various aspects of your relationship in an effort to calm your fears. This desire for control can manifest in behaviors like monitoring your partner’s activities or making excessive demands, which can create tension and strain. Relationship anxiety vs. Relationship OCD For some people, relationship anxiety could be so severe and disruptive that it could be considered a form of obsessive-compulsive disorder, or OCD.  OCD is a mental health condition that causes two key symptoms: obsessions and compulsions.  Obsessions are intrusive and unwanted thoughts or urges that unrelentingly stick in the person’s mind. They cause intense feelings of fear, disgust, or shame. Compulsions are repetitive behaviors that the person performs to try to keep themselves safe or reduce anxiety.  These symptoms make OCD different from standard anxiety. OCD obsessions and compulsions can revolve around any topic. Some people have obsessions about their relationship. People with relationship OCD have intrusive thoughts about the relationship or their partner that go beyond typical relationship anxiety. For example, they may second-guess their own feelings for their partner and worry that they aren’t actually in love. They might compulsively check their own feelings of attraction. It’s important to differentiate whether you have OCD or anxiety, because the treatments that are used in each condition are very different.  How to cope with relationship anxiety Here are some tips that may help you reduce relationship anxiety: 1. Acknowledge your feelings Start by recognizing that relationship anxiety is something you're dealing with. Identifying this emotional experience helps you confront it in a healthy way. It’s important to reflect on whether your worries come from past experiences, personal insecurities, or real issues in the relationship. Don’t push the feelings away; simply notice them.  2. Focus on open communication Talking openly with your partner about your feelings can help you gain reassurance and reduce misunderstandings. Expressing your concerns calmly without blame encourages trust and strengthens emotional connection, which can ease your anxiety. Avoid constant reassurance-seeking, but talk to your partner about how you’re feeling. 3. Practice self-care and mindfulness Taking care of your mental and physical health through activities like meditation, exercise, or journaling can help lower overall anxiety levels. Focusing on your well-being helps you feel more secure and grounded, which can go a long way in reducing the intensity of anxious thoughts about your relationship. 4. Challenge negative thoughts Anxiety can make you prone to overthinking or expecting the worst in your relationship. Learn to identify and question these thoughts by replacing them with more balanced, realistic perspectives. This is a technique based in cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT). Focusing on making this mental shift can ease the pressure and stress you feel. 5. Set boundaries to prevent over-dependence It can be easy to get lost in relationships, especially when you live with relationship anxiety. Establish healthy boundaries with your partner to maintain a sense of individual identity. By giving each other space to grow separately, you build trust and reduce the anxiety that comes from being overly dependent on the relationship. 6. Learn about relationship anxiety Gaining knowledge about relationship anxiety can help you manage it. A study found that even a single session focused on teaching couples about unhelpful behaviors like constant reassurance-seeking and self-silencing made a big difference in reducing these behaviors. By learning more about these patterns and how to address them, you can feel more empowered and better equipped to navigate your relationship with less anxiety. Get professional support with Cerebral Some individuals may be able to manage relationship anxiety on their own, but if these worries have affected your relationships either currently or in the past, it may be a good idea to explore your symptoms and possible treatment. A therapist can also help you identify what’s triggering your relationship anxiety and learn new skills to manage it. In addition, if you’re experiencing relationship anxiety with your partner, then Couples Therapy could be a great option for you. A couples therapist can provide a safe place and third-party perspective on how to improve your relationship dynamics. Get started with Cerebral today and take the first step toward getting the support you deserve. Image by Anna Shvets on Pexels.

In many romantic partnerships, mutual appreciation and acknowledgment form the bedrock of love and trust. But, if you’re feeling underappreciated, it can lead to real emotional distress. Why this matters: If left unaddressed, this ongoing relationship conflict can even erode the foundation of the partnership. This  guide covers what it means to feel underappreciated, the impacts on you and your relationship, and actionable strategies people may use to address and overcome this common issue for couples. {MiniWidget:CouplesTherapy} What does it mean to feel underappreciated? Feeling underappreciated refers to a sense of not being valued or acknowledged for one’s contributions, gestures, or presence. In a partnership, these feelings can emerge when acts of love or support go unnoticed or unreciprocated, leading to a void of positive reinforcement and a decline in relationship satisfaction. Unappreciated partners often feel a disconnect between their efforts and the feedback they receive. This emotional dissonance can result in a range of negative emotions, including: A lack of motivation to invest in the relationship Resentment Loneliness Withdrawal If you’re feeling this sense of neglect, it may cause you to become distant and disengaged, potentially seeking solace in work, hobbies, or friendships outside of your partnership. You may also find yourself starting and engaging in more arguments with your partner. In extreme cases, the feeling of being undervalued may drive a person towards infidelity as they search for validation, appreciation, and emotional connection elsewhere. It's worth noting: These reactions, while potentially damaging to the relationship, signify a deeper underlying issue that needs to be addressed through open communication, therapy, or couples counseling. Early recognition of those warning signs allows you to address issues before they escalate into more severe relationship problems or cause even more personal emotional distress.  Impact on your personal mental health Feeling unappreciated by your partner can have a considerable impact on your mental health, including: Increased stress Anxiety Reduced self-esteem  A negative self-image Depression When seeking to resolve these feelings, it’s vital to also cultivate a robust sense of self-worth that isn’t dependent on external validation. Why this matters: This can lessen the negative impact of external circumstances and instill a stronger sense of emotional resilience. Effects on your relationship The impact of one partner feeling underappreciated can ripple throughout the relationship. It can lead to: A breakdown in communication A lack of intimacy A reduction in the willingness to compromise  Over time, unresolved feelings of underappreciation can contribute to an emotional disconnection that may be difficult to repair. This is why early recognition and intervention are critical to maintaining a healthy and fulfilling partnership. Don’t ignore your feelings Acknowledging that you feel underappreciated is the first step toward resolution. Ignoring or downplaying your emotions can result in them manifesting in harmful ways, such as passive-aggressiveness or emotional withdrawal. Holding back your feelings to avoid confrontation is not a long-term strategy for a healthy relationship. Instead, it’s important to find constructive ways to express your emotions and collaboratively work with your partner toward a solution. How to resolve the problem of feeling undervalued Talk with your partner Just like with addressing any relationship conflict, resolving feelings of underappreciation often begins with an open and honest dialogue. Here’s how to do just that:  Take some time to reflect on your feelings and identify specific instances where you felt undervalued before you talk so you can express your feelings clearly and specifically. Choose a time when you both are calm and focused, and find a quiet, private place where you won’t be interrupted. This setting helps create a safe space for vulnerability and openness. Start the conversation by sharing specific instances that made you feel unappreciated and how that made you feel. Use ‘I’ statements to convey ownership of your feelings without assigning blame, and avoid using generalizations that can lead to defensiveness. Encourage your partner to express their view on the matter as well. Sometimes, your partner is unaware of the impact their actions — or lack thereof — have on you.  Listen actively to your partner's response by showing empathy, avoiding interruptions, and trying to understand their perspective, even if it differs from yours. Clearly articulate the actions or changes that would help you feel more valued. Be realistic and considerate in your requests, and ensure that they don’t come across as demands (e.g., “You need to do X.”). Approach the situation as a team, discussing the ways you can both contribute to making each other feel valued and appreciated. Agree to revisit the conversation to see how the changes are going. Acknowledge progress and address any ongoing relationship issues during these discussions. By discussing the issue constructively, you can lay the groundwork for mutual understanding and positive change. In general, you can take this same approach to many other relationship conflicts. Go deeper: Here's How Couples Therapy Builds Communication Skills Set boundaries Boundaries in a relationship are not just about physical space but also about respect for each other’s emotional needs. If certain behaviors consistently make you feel underappreciated, it’s important to set clear boundaries about what is and isn’t acceptable. For example: You can establish that you won’t tolerate dismissive language when you express your feelings. You can enforce that limit by tabling the conversation if that occurs. By setting boundaries in a relationship, you not only protect your emotional well-being but also provide the structure within which a healthier relationship can thrive. Divide responsibilities with your partner A common source of feeling unappreciated is an imbalance in the distribution of responsibilities. Whether it’s household chores, financial management, or nurturing mutual friendships, an equitable division of labor can help ensure that both partners feel their contributions are valued. What to do: Sit down with your partner and discuss how to divide tasks based on availability, skill, and preference. This simple act can reduce the likelihood of one partner feeling overburdened and unacknowledged. Show your partner appreciation Especially after you’ve addressed your feelings, it’s important to model the behavior you wish to receive. Even before having that open, honest conversation, expressing your gratitude is a powerful way to start breaking the cycle of underappreciation. What to do: Find opportunities to genuinely express gratitude for your partner’s contributions each day, no matter how small. Practice self-care Self-care is crucial when navigating the emotional complexity of feeling underappreciated. Engage in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment, whether it’s solo exercise, creative hobbies, or spending quality time with friends. Why this matters: You’ll affirm your own value and regain self-esteem, allowing you to recognize your worthiness in receiving the love and attention you deserve. Couples therapy can help with additional support Sometimes, resolving feelings of underappreciation may require more than personal or interpersonal efforts. Professional help, such as couples therapy, can provide the tools and guidance necessary to work through unresolved issues and emerge with a stronger, more connected partnership. What is couples therapy? Couples therapy is a form of counseling designed to help partners improve their relationship. An in-person or online therapist will work with a couple to identify underlying relationship issues, improve communication, and develop strategies for conflict resolution and mutual support. Benefits of couples counseling Whether it’s in-person or online, couples therapy offers a structured environment where both partners can explore their feelings and experiences. The therapy process can uncover unspoken grievances, provide a neutral space to discuss sensitive topics, and empower partners with the skills to enhance their relationship. The benefits of couples therapy extend beyond the resolution of specific issues like underappreciation. Couples often report increased intimacy, better communication, and a deeper understanding of one another following therapy. How to talk to your partner about couples therapy You may feel like initiating a conversation about couples therapy with your partner could be unwarranted. It’s important to recognize that it’s not exactly the same as marriage counseling, which typically addresses specific, immediate conflicts within a marriage. Couples therapy can be a beneficial step for all kinds of couples who want to resolve difficult partnership dynamics by diving deeper into the root causes of relationship issues. Go deeper: Couples Therapy vs Marriage Counseling: What's the Difference? You also may wonder about your partner’s reaction or willingness to consider couples counseling. Frame the discussion as an opportunity for growth and an investment in your future together. Remember: Seeking therapy is not a sign of failure but a proactive step to ensure that both partners are fulfilled and appreciated within the relationship. Cerebral’s approach to couples therapy Cerebral’s approach to couples therapy is rooted in evidence-based practices and tailored to the unique needs and goals of each couple. Knowing that it can be tricky to coordinate two people’s schedules, we offer convenient, online therapy sessions conducted by licensed mental health professionals. You can look for Cerebral's highly-rated couples therapists who offer appointments in the morning, afternoon, evening, or even on the weekend. Consider this: The cost of online couples counseling can also be more affordable. In the United States, in-person couples therapy sessions can range from $100 to $300 per hour. However, online sessions, which studies show are just as effective as in-person meetings, can cost as little as $65 a session.  Feeling underappreciated can be a painful and isolating experience. Through honest communication, boundary setting, appreciative gestures, and, if necessary, professional help, you can move past this hurdle and create a more connected and fulfilling partnership. Whether you’re just starting as a couple or navigating decades of partnership, discover all the ways couples therapy benefits every stage of your relationship. Images by Drazen Zigic and Freepik on Freepik.

Couples therapy is for everyone with a partner, whether your relationship is rock strong or you’ve been facing some trials and tribulations. And while you may be up to give couples therapy a try, your partner may need more convincing. Talking to your significant other about couples therapy can be a sensitive and potentially challenging conversation, so we’ve assembled some tips to guide you through the process. Before the Conversation Reflect on your feelings: Take some time to reflect on your feelings and concerns about the relationship. Consider what specific issues or challenges, if any, you've been facing and how they've been impacting you emotionally. Clarify your goals: Think about what you hope to achieve through couples therapy. Whether it's improving communication, resolving conflicts, or strengthening your emotional connection, having clarity on your goals will help guide the conversation. Educate yourself: Familiarize yourself with the benefits of couples therapy and how it can help enhance or improve relationships. This will help you feel more confident in discussing the topic and enable you to answer any questions your partner may have. Anticipate possible reactions: Consider how your partner might react to the suggestion of couples therapy. They may be open and receptive, hesitant, or resistant. Anticipating their possible reactions will help you prepare for different scenarios and respond empathetically. Choose the right time: Pick a time to have the conversation when both you and your partner are relatively calm and not preoccupied with other stressors. Avoid bringing up the topic during moments of tension or conflict. Manage your expectations: Understand that your partner may not immediately agree to couples therapy, and that's okay. Be prepared for the possibility of resistance or defensiveness and try to approach the conversation with patience and understanding. Practice self-care: Engage in self-care activities to help manage your own stress and emotions leading up to the conversation. This might include exercise, meditation, spending time with supportive friends or family, or engaging in hobbies that bring you joy. Stay open-minded: Keep an open mind throughout the conversation and be willing to listen to your partner's perspective. Remember that couples therapy is a collaborative process, and both partners need to be willing to participate actively for it to be effective. During the Conversation Focus on "I" statements Instead: "You always shut me down when I try to talk!" (Accusatory, triggers defensiveness) Try: "I feel unheard when we discuss certain topics, and I'm wondering if we could explore ways to communicate more openly." (Focuses on personal feelings, encourages understanding) Highlight the benefits Instead: "We need therapy because we're constantly fighting!" (Negative, emphasizes problems) Try: "I've noticed some communication gaps between us, and I believe couples therapy could help us learn valuable tools to resolve conflicts more constructively and strengthen our bond." (Focuses on potential solutions and positive outcomes) Normalize therapy Instead of: "We need to see a therapist!" (Sounds accusatory) Try: "It's really common for couples to seek therapy to strengthen their bond. Many people find it helpful." (Highlights normalcy and potential benefits) Listen actively Instead: Nodding silently while waiting to speak. Try: "I want to understand your perspective. Can you tell me more about what you're feeling?" (Shows genuine interest and encourages deeper expression) Focus on the relationship Instead: "You never listen to me!" (Focuses on blame) Try: "I feel unheard sometimes, and I think we could both benefit from learning better communication skills." (Shifts focus to positive change) Be open to compromise Instead: "We’re doing this, whether you like it or not!" (Closed-minded) Try: "I understand you have concerns. Can we explore different options together and find a therapist we both feel comfortable with?" (Demonstrates flexibility and collaboration) Offer reassurance Instead: "This means our relationship is failing!" (Creates negativity) Try: "Seeking therapy shows we're committed to making things work. It's like investing in our future together." (Reframes therapy as a positive step) Plan next steps together Instead: "I already booked an appointment." (Dismissive) Try: "Would you like to research therapists together, or should I start with some options?" (Empowers your partner and involves them in the process) Follow through Instead: "I forgot, can we reschedule next week?" (Unreliable) Try: "Let's set a calendar reminder together for our therapy sessions and hold each other accountable." (Shows commitment and mutual support) Stay calm and patient Instead: Getting defensive or frustrated. Try: "I hear you, and I appreciate your honesty. Even when we disagree, let's remember we're both on the same team." (Maintains respectful communication even during challenges) Explore Couples Therapy with Cerebral Every relationship has its ups and downs. Whether yours is better than ever and you want to keep a good thing going, or you’re at a precarious point and need some professional support to get back on track, Cerebral can help. We offer couples therapy with world-class, credentialed professionals—100% online. Meet with an expert from the comfort of home and on your schedule, so you and your partner can make the most of your journey together. Get started.    Image by pch.vector on Freepik