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Relationship Anxiety: Understand the Signs and Ways to Cope Relationships have the potential to bring immense joy, yet for many individuals, they can also become a significant source of anxiety. If you find yourself worrying about your partner’s feelings or constantly seeking reassurance, you might be experiencing relationship anxiety.  This type of anxiety often stems from past experiences or personal insecurities, which may have led you to have concerns about trust and commitment. The good news is that by identifying the signs, implementing strategies, and exploring Couples Therapy, you could create a more balanced and fulfilling relationship.  In this article, we’ll explore the signs that could suggest you’re experiencing relationship anxiety. Additionally, we’re sharing six practical tips to help you effectively manage and overcome it. {MiniWidget:Anxiety} Understanding the signs of relationship anxiety Relationship anxiety isn’t a formally recognized anxiety disorder. Although there isn’t a common consensus on its definition in the scientific community, it generally refers to when people have intense fears or worries about their relationships, especially their primary (intimate) relationship. It’s normal to feel some anxiety in a relationship, especially in the early stages or when trust has been shaken, such as dealing with infidelity. But if you’re feeling anxious on a regular basis, even when your relationship isn’t in crisis, then it could be a sign of relationship anxiety. Here are 11 signs of relationship anxiety: 1. You need constant reassurance You seek constant reassurance from your partner about their feelings and commitment. This need could stem from insecurities or past experiences that lead you to doubt the stability of your relationship. 2. You overthink interactions You find yourself overanalyzing every conversation and interaction you have with your partner. You replay what was said or done and worry about how they perceived your actions, which makes you feel even more stressed and confused. 3. You fear abandonment You experience a pervasive fear of being abandoned or left alone, and it significantly impacts your relationship. This fear may cause you to cling to your partner or act in ways that push them away. 4. You have difficulty trusting You find it challenging to trust your partner, even if they’ve done nothing to betray your trust. You often find yourself questioning their words or actions. This lack of trust can lead to feelings of suspicion and paranoia, and put a heavy strain on the relationship. 5. You are preoccupied with the relationship You may feel an overwhelming focus on your relationship, prioritizing it above your own needs and interests. This preoccupation can lead to obsessive thoughts and feelings that make it difficult to maintain a healthy balance in your life. 6. You experience jealousy and insecurity You frequently feel jealous or insecure about your partner’s interactions with others. These feelings often stem from a lack of self-confidence or a fear of losing your partner to someone you perceive as “better.” This insecurity might cause you to accuse your partner of betraying you even when they haven’t. 7. You doubt your partner’s feelings You frequently find yourself doubting your partner’s feelings toward you. This uncertainty can stem from past experiences or insecurities, but it could also be a sign of underlying self-esteem issues. Regardless of the reason, it can cause you to question their love or commitment. 8. You avoid conflict You tend to avoid addressing conflicts or difficult conversations for fear of upsetting your partner. This avoidance can lead to unresolved issues and resentment, which can ultimately harm the relationship over time. You might even experience self-silencing, which is when you suppress your inner voice and needs just to please your partner and avoid conflict. 9. You have intense emotional reactions You may experience intense emotional reactions to perceived slights or misunderstandings. These reactions can include anger, sadness, or frustration. They may be hard to understand from your partner’s point-of-view when they don’t understand the inner struggle that may be happening for you. 10. You notice physical symptoms of stress You might experience physical manifestations of stress, such as a racing heart, sweating, or stomach issues, especially during interactions with your partner or when you think about relationship challenges. 11. You seek control You may feel compelled to control various aspects of your relationship in an effort to calm your fears. This desire for control can manifest in behaviors like monitoring your partner’s activities or making excessive demands, which can create tension and strain. Relationship anxiety vs. Relationship OCD For some people, relationship anxiety could be so severe and disruptive that it could be considered a form of obsessive-compulsive disorder, or OCD.  OCD is a mental health condition that causes two key symptoms: obsessions and compulsions.  Obsessions are intrusive and unwanted thoughts or urges that unrelentingly stick in the person’s mind. They cause intense feelings of fear, disgust, or shame. Compulsions are repetitive behaviors that the person performs to try to keep themselves safe or reduce anxiety.  These symptoms make OCD different from standard anxiety. OCD obsessions and compulsions can revolve around any topic. Some people have obsessions about their relationship. People with relationship OCD have intrusive thoughts about the relationship or their partner that go beyond typical relationship anxiety. For example, they may second-guess their own feelings for their partner and worry that they aren’t actually in love. They might compulsively check their own feelings of attraction. It’s important to differentiate whether you have OCD or anxiety, because the treatments that are used in each condition are very different.  How to cope with relationship anxiety Here are some tips that may help you reduce relationship anxiety: 1. Acknowledge your feelings Start by recognizing that relationship anxiety is something you're dealing with. Identifying this emotional experience helps you confront it in a healthy way. It’s important to reflect on whether your worries come from past experiences, personal insecurities, or real issues in the relationship. Don’t push the feelings away; simply notice them.  2. Focus on open communication Talking openly with your partner about your feelings can help you gain reassurance and reduce misunderstandings. Expressing your concerns calmly without blame encourages trust and strengthens emotional connection, which can ease your anxiety. Avoid constant reassurance-seeking, but talk to your partner about how you’re feeling. 3. Practice self-care and mindfulness Taking care of your mental and physical health through activities like meditation, exercise, or journaling can help lower overall anxiety levels. Focusing on your well-being helps you feel more secure and grounded, which can go a long way in reducing the intensity of anxious thoughts about your relationship. 4. Challenge negative thoughts Anxiety can make you prone to overthinking or expecting the worst in your relationship. Learn to identify and question these thoughts by replacing them with more balanced, realistic perspectives. This is a technique based in cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT). Focusing on making this mental shift can ease the pressure and stress you feel. 5. Set boundaries to prevent over-dependence It can be easy to get lost in relationships, especially when you live with relationship anxiety. Establish healthy boundaries with your partner to maintain a sense of individual identity. By giving each other space to grow separately, you build trust and reduce the anxiety that comes from being overly dependent on the relationship. 6. Learn about relationship anxiety Gaining knowledge about relationship anxiety can help you manage it. A study found that even a single session focused on teaching couples about unhelpful behaviors like constant reassurance-seeking and self-silencing made a big difference in reducing these behaviors. By learning more about these patterns and how to address them, you can feel more empowered and better equipped to navigate your relationship with less anxiety. Get professional support with Cerebral Some individuals may be able to manage relationship anxiety on their own, but if these worries have affected your relationships either currently or in the past, it may be a good idea to explore your symptoms and possible treatment. A therapist can also help you identify what’s triggering your relationship anxiety and learn new skills to manage it. In addition, if you’re experiencing relationship anxiety with your partner, then Couples Therapy could be a great option for you. A couples therapist can provide a safe place and third-party perspective on how to improve your relationship dynamics. Get started with Cerebral today and take the first step toward getting the support you deserve. Image by Anna Shvets on Pexels.

The holiday season can be a time of connection and joy, but for most of us, it’s not all cozy vibes and happy reunions. For many people, the holidays can also bring stress, overcommitment, and tough conversations. Between family gatherings, endless invitations, and financial pressures, you might feel that you’re getting stretched too thin. That’s where boundaries come in. Setting healthy boundaries during the holidays isn’t about being selfish — it’s about protecting your time, energy, and mental health so you can actually enjoy the season. When you know your limits and communicate them clearly, the holidays can feel a lot less overwhelming and a lot more meaningful. In this blog, we’ll talk about what boundaries are, why they’re so important, and how to set them during the busiest time of the year. What are boundaries and why are they important? The simplest definition of having boundaries is to set personal limits for yourself and your life that allow you to protect your well-being and live a life that’s aligned with your values. Boundaries can be about so much more than just saying “no” — they’re also about creating space for the things that matter to you and preserving your emotional, physical, and mental energy. Being able to set boundaries is one of the most important parts of having healthy relationships. When you know your limits and communicate them, you’re not only protecting your own needs but also fostering mutual respect. This can strengthen your connections with others and reduce misunderstandings or resentment. Some specific benefits of setting boundaries include: Reducing stress by saying no to commitments that don’t serve you. Feeling more in control of your time, energy, and finances. Protecting your mental health by creating space for rest and self-care. Without boundaries, it can be easy to feel overwhelmed, overcommitted, or emotionally drained — especially during the holidays. Tips for setting boundaries during the holidays Even if you typically are able to set healthy boundaries, the holiday season could still be a tricky time to navigate. For many people, the holidays mean extra family members, social gatherings, financial constraints, and additional pressure at work. Your boundaries may need to be stronger than ever to protect your time, energy, and emotional well-being. Here, we’ve gathered our top 3 tips to help you keep your boundaries strong and healthy throughout the holiday season. Identify what your boundaries are First, you need to know what your boundaries are — and this is something only you can decide. Everyone has different limits when it comes to family, finances, and work. For example, you might feel comfortable attending one or two family gatherings during the holidays, but not more than that. Or you may want to set a strict spending limit for gifts to avoid financial stress. Take some time to reflect on what feels manageable for you. Think about past holidays and what worked — or didn’t work — for your mental health. Try asking yourself: What activities or commitments bring me joy? What obligations leave me feeling drained or overwhelmed? Are there any traditions or expectations I want to change this year? Once you’ve identified your boundaries, you may feel more confident about sticking to them when situations arise. Learn how to say “no” We’ve already said that having boundaries is about more than saying “no.” But if you aren’t able to say “no,” even to things that you know aren’t good for you, it’s hard to enforce any kind of boundary. Saying “no” doesn’t have to be harsh or confrontational. It’s about being firm but respectful. If someone invites you to something you’re not comfortable with, try a polite but clear response like: “Thanks so much for the invite, but I already have plans.” “I really appreciate you thinking of me, but I need some time to myself this week.” “That sounds amazing, but it’s outside of my budget this year.” It’s okay to keep your responses simple — there’s no need to over-explain or apologize. Communicate clearly and put them into practice The first part of having boundaries is knowing, for yourself, what they are. The second part – and arguably the more important part – is establishing them by communicating them to other people. It’s important to be as clear and direct as possible when sharing your boundaries. For example, if you’ve decided not to host this year’s holiday dinner, let your family know early on so they can adjust their plans. If you need time to recharge, let your loved ones know that you might not be as available as usual. When communicating boundaries, use “I” statements to focus on your needs rather than blaming or criticizing others. For example: “I’ve decided I need to stick to my budget this year, so I won’t be able to join the group trip.” “I need to take some time off to rest, so I’ll be skipping this week’s gathering.” Once you’ve communicated your boundaries, stick to them. Remember, setting boundaries is about protecting your own well-being, and it’s not selfish to prioritize your needs. Examples of holiday boundaries in action Still feeling unsure about what setting holiday boundaries looks like in practice? Here are some examples of what you can say to set common types of boundaries this season. Holiday budget Reports show that most Americans face worries about finances this time of year. And it’s no wonder, with the rising cost of gifts, travel, and social events. Setting a clear budget can help you manage your spending and avoid the stress of overspending. Example: Your friend wants to go on a holiday getaway, but you’re trying to save money. It’s simply out of your budget. How to set your boundary: “That sounds like such a fun trip, but I’m sticking to my budget this year and can’t swing it. Let’s plan a day to hang out locally instead!” Saying “no” to holiday plans An overbooked social calendar can also be reason to set some boundaries this season. Example: Your calendar is already filled with holiday plans. You get invited to an additional family event, but you’re exhausted and need some time for yourself. How to set your boundary: “Thanks for the invite! I’ve already committed to a lot this week, so I’m going to sit this one out. Let’s catch up soon, though!” Taking time off from work It can feel almost impossible to keep up with both family responsibilities and work commitments this time of year, and it’s understandable to want to take time off. But depending on your work culture, you may need to be more firm about setting these boundaries. Example: Communicating you will be taking time off during the holidays to your colleagues. How to set your boundary: “I’ll be out of the office from December 24th to January 2nd. I won’t be checking emails during this time, but I’m happy to help wrap things up before I leave!” Getting professional mental health support IThe holidays can be stressful, and boundary-setting can be really tough. If you’re feeling overwhelmed or unsure how to navigate the season, seeking professional mental health support can make a big difference. A therapist can help you identify your limits and work with you on learning new strategies to communicate them effectively. A therapist can also guide you in managing the emotions that often come with setting boundaries, like guilt or anxiety.  Additionally, mental health support can help you recognize and address any deeper patterns that make boundary-setting challenging. If you tend to overcommit or prioritize others’ needs at the expense of your own, therapy can help you break those cycles and practice self-compassion. If you live with underlying mental health concerns like depression, then a mental health professional can also help you look at options for medication.  At Cerebral, we offer flexible plans for therapy, medication management, or both — designed to help you manage holiday stress, strengthen your boundaries, and protect your mental health year-round.  Get started with Cerebral today for only $30/month (plus your deductibles and copays) and take the first step toward a more peaceful holiday season. Image by RDNE Stock project on Pexels

5 Self-Care Tips for the Holidays The holiday season is upon us. And while it’s often described as the most wonderful time of the year, for many of us, it may also be one of the most stressful. According to the American Psychological Association, 9 out of 10 adults say that the holidays are a source of stress. Between family gatherings, last-minute shopping, and packed social calendars, it can be easy to feel overwhelmed.  That’s where self-care comes in. Taking care of yourself during this busy time isn’t selfish — it’s necessary. When you prioritize your mental and emotional health, you’re better equipped to handle the holiday season with balance and ease. In this article, we’ll explore what self-care means, why it’s so important, and how you can include simple, effective self-care practices into your holiday routine. {MiniWidget:Anxiety} What is self-care and why is it important? Self-care is often misunderstood as indulgence or luxury — you might imagine going to the spa or taking a vacation — but in reality, it can be far more than that. At its core, self-care involves recognizing and meeting your physical, emotional, and mental health needs. It’s a proactive effort to protect your overall well-being — something that’s particularly important during the hectic holiday season. Benefits of self-care Studies show that self-care is essential for maintaining both physical and mental health.  Some specific benefits of self-care include: Stress reduction: Engaging in self-care activities, like intentionally relaxing, connecting with loved ones, or even just getting enough sleep, can help lower stress levels by giving your mind and body a chance to reset. This is an important benefit, because research shows that chronic stress can take a big toll on your health, and can even lead to issues like gastrointestinal problems and a weakened immune system.  Improved mental health: Many self-care practices, like mindfulness, regular exercise, getting restful sleep, and strengthening your relationships have been shown to reduce feelings of anxiety and improve mood over time. On the flip side, not engaging in important self-care, like not getting enough sleep, can put you at higher risk for mental health concerns like depression. Stronger resilience: Regular self-care can strengthen your resilience, which means that it becomes easier to recover from challenges and setbacks. Life can come with bumps in the road, but when you’re more resilient, you’re able to bounce back more quickly. You’re also more protected against mental health disorders like depression and anxiety. Better relationships: When you make self-care a priority, you’re often better equipped to show up for others. Feeling balanced and less overwhelmed may allow you to connect more authentically, communicate effectively, and maintain healthier relationships. During the holidays, neglecting your self-care can make you end up feeling physically exhausted, irritated, and emotionally drained. By intentionally setting aside time to care for yourself, you can maintain a sense of balance and enjoy the season more fully. Here are 5 ways to practice self-care Self-care doesn’t have to be complicated or time-consuming. Try these 5 simple self-care strategies this season — they’re simple, but they may help the holidays feel more manageable. 1. Schedule time for yourself It might feel impossible to carve out time for yourself during the holidays, but it’s one of the most important self-care practices you can have. Even 10 to 15 minutes a day that you can dedicate to activities like meditating, journaling, or simply sitting quietly can make a big difference. For example, one study found that just 15 minutes a day of meditation has similar benefits for well-being and stress reduction as being on vacation for the day. Treat this time as non-negotiable, like any other important commitment. 2. Set boundaries The holidays often come along with increased obligations — family gatherings, work parties, and social commitments. While these can be fun, they can also start to feel overwhelming if you don’t set clear boundaries. Learning to say “no” is a powerful act of self-care. Communicate your limits with kindness but firmness. Setting boundaries helps you save your energy so that you can focus on the activities and people that truly matter to you. 3. Eat a well-balanced diet While some may choose to indulge over the holidays, maintaining a balanced diet can help you feel more energized and less stressed.  That doesn’t mean you have to skip the desserts and eggnog — just aim for moderation. Balancing indulgent treats with nourishing foods can stabilize your blood sugar and improve your mood. In addition, don’t overdo it with alcohol — it may feel like it makes social events easier, but it could actually increase anxiety in the long run. 4. Practice gratitude Gratitude is a simple but effective way to improve your mental health. While it’s completely normal to feel a mix of different emotions this time of year, including grief, resentment, and even anger, studies show that regularly practicing gratitude can increase feelings of happiness and reduce stress. One way to start a regular gratitude practice is by keeping a gratitude journal. Each night, write down three things you’re thankful for — no matter how small. Over time, this practice can help shift your focus from what’s going wrong to what’s going right.  5. Engage in hobbies you enjoy Hobbies are more than just pastimes; they’re a form of self-expression and stress relief. Whether you enjoy painting, baking, reading, or gardening, making time for your favorite activities can help you feel more grounded and in tune with yourself. Research has found that engaging in enjoyable leisure activities and hobbies can significantly boost happiness and overall life satisfaction. Even a few minutes a day dedicated to something you love can provide a meaningful mental break. Seeking out professional support When people think of getting professional mental health support like therapy, they often associate it with addressing mental health disorders or navigating significant life crises. While therapy can absolutely support those needs, it’s also a profoundly effective form of self-care. Therapy isn’t just about dealing with problems; it can also be about focusing on your well-being, deepening self-awareness, and building a stronger relationship with yourself. Therapy is designed to give you a unique space — a space that’s entirely yours. It’s a dedicated time to check in with your thoughts and feelings, away from the demands of daily life. Just like journaling or mindfulness, it’s a way to process your experiences and gain clarity — but with the added benefit of professional guidance. And during the holidays, a therapist can help you identify what it is that you need to feel your best. A therapist can also help you explore the barriers that might prevent you from fully embracing self-care, such as guilt or a lack of boundaries, and work with you to create healthier habits. It’s a way of saying, “I value myself enough to invest in my growth and happiness.” By prioritizing therapy as part of your self-care routine, you’re going beyond responding to problems — you’re building emotional resilience, improving your self-awareness, and creating a toolkit of skills that can support you through any season of life. Get started with Cerebral Cerebral makes it easy for you to get professional mental healthcare, whether you live with a mental health condition or you just want some extra support. Start Cerebral now for only $30 per month (plus your insurance copay and deductibles). Image from Pexels