How to Be a Good LGBTQ+ Ally

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LGBTQI+ Health - Women's Health - Men's Health

Jamie Imperial Jun 21, 2021

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Happy Pride Month! Here at Cerebral, we support every member of the LGBTQ+ community and support the rich history of the movement. Mental health is especially important for the LGBTQ+ community, and we’re proud to do everything we can to provide treatment to everyone who needs it.

Just how important is mental health to the LGBTQ+ community? About 4.5% of the US population identifies as LGBTQ+. Of these individuals, 39% reported living with a mental health condition in the past year. Compare that to roughly 20% of U.S. adults in the general population who experience mental illness in a given year.

As part of a vulnerable community, LGBTQ+ individuals are at high risk for experiencing shame, fear, and discrimination surrounding their identity. Discrimination, in turn, is associated with higher rates of mental health disorders, substance abuse, and suicide among the community.

As a result, mental health issues disproportionately affect the LGBTQ+ community. For example, LGBTQ+ adults are more than twice as likely than heterosexual adults to experience a mental health condition. They’re also 13% more likely to experience symptoms that interfere with major life activities, compared to 4% of heterosexual adults.

Transgender adults are almost four times as likely to live with a mental health condition than cisgender adults. Tragically, nearly 40% of transgender adults have attempted suicide in their lifetimes, compared to less than 5% of the general U.S. population.

It’s clear that personal, family, and social acceptance of sexual orientation and gender identity has a significant effect on the mental health and personal safety of LGBTQ+ individuals. Unfortunately, the stigma surrounding the LGBTQ+ community is still alive and well.

That’s where being a good ally comes in. An ally is someone who stands up for and supports the community by trying to make the world a better place for LGBTQ+ individuals. Good allies are crucial to reducing stigma and making LGBTQ+ individuals feel more open and accepted for who they are.

How can I be a good ally?

Buying lots of rainbow clothes and going to parades can be really fun, but these things alone don’t automatically make you a good ally. Genuine allyship means more than that. A good ally understands that allyship isn’t a label—it’s a lifelong set of behaviors and actions that support the LGBTQ+ community, both publicly and privately.

Listen, learn, and educate yourself

As a good ally, you are willing to have open conversations and listen to someone’s experiences without making them about you. If someone is comfortable being vulnerable with you to share their experiences, it’s important for you to truly listen and see where they’re coming from, without projecting your own experience onto them.

You should also respect how much someone is willing to share with you. It’s not fair to ask anyone to educate you on an entire community’s history and experience. No one should be treated like a search engine! Luckily, there’s a ton of resources online for you to educate yourself in order to develop a true understanding of the LGBTQ+ community.

During this process, someone will inevitably correct you on something, but there’s no need to be defensive. Good allies make mistakes all the time, and being able to recognize that, apologize, and learn from them is most important.

Uplift and empower LGBTQ+ voices

Empower the community by taking the time to uplift LGBTQ+ speakers, authors, musicians, writers, and anyone who can confidently speak on their life experiences with being queer. Read books by queer authors, listen to podcasts, watch documentaries on LGBTQ+ history, and share these voices on your feed and in real life.

Use inclusive language

Language is powerful, and using the proper words when it comes to someone’s gender identity or sexual orientation is an important part of being a good ally. Some examples include:

Using terms like “everyone” or “you all” to address a group instead of something like “ladies” or “guys.”
Not using slurs or phrases like “that’s so gay” to insult someone or something.
Learning and respecting people’s pronouns, even if it doesn’t come naturally to you at first.

Confront your own prejudices and biases

Nearly everyone has biases and assumptions that they don’t realize they even have. Good allies acknowledge and confront them.

Reflect on what your own prejudices and biases may be. Start by asking yourself some questions. What are some jokes you’ve made or laughed at in the past that were disrespectful? Are you making assumptions about someone’s lifestyle because of their sexual or gender identity? Do you automatically assume someone’s sex or gender because of the way they look?

As a good ally, reflecting on your past beliefs and assumptions and deconstructing them will help break down the stigma.

Recognize your own privilege

The majority of us have some type of privilege, and it’s important to acknowledge your own privilege when being a good ally. There’s no need to feel defensive about being straight, able-bodied, cis-gendered, or any other type of privileged, as long as you understand what that means. Understanding your own privilege will help you empathize with the oppressions of other groups.

Advice from Cerebral’s Mental Health Professionals

Some advice on being a good ally from our mental health professionals:

“Just be there. Listen to them. Be curious and ask questions with an open mind to whatever the answer may be. You could say something along the lines of, ‘Though I don't fully understand what it's like for you, I accept you and I want to learn how I can best support you in your experience.’”

– Joshua Simpson, ASW

“Actively listening to someone who is LGBTQIA+ can sometimes be the biggest way to show support. Other ways to support could be to join them at a local pride parade/event, listen to LGBTQIA+ podcasts, ask questions from a caring place and normalize queer relationships. Try to remove assumptions or expectations. Each person experiences life within the LGBTQIA+ community differently, and it could mean a lot to remain open to what that could look like for different people, even if they identify similarly.”

– Danielle Hadar, LCSW

“Accept them for who they are, even if you don't understand them. You do not have to understand a person to respect them. Acceptance and respect are the bare minimum. Use the terminology they use. If you don't know what something means, either ask them or look it up yourself. Do not make judgements, jokes, assumptions about their identity. If you have a (respectful) question, then ask. If they don't answer, respect that.

Do not ask invasive/inappropriate questions. If you wouldn't want to be asked the question, don't ask them. Ask your person how you can support them and then do what they tell you (which might include leaving them alone, and that is okay!). Follow LGBTQ+ advocacy organizations (PFLAG is a great national option) and seek ally support if you need it. Having accepting and supportive people in their life significantly reduces the risk of suicide in LGBTQ+ people.”

–Laura Conner, LCSW

To the LGBT community: How do you help allies support you?

When you’re a queer individual, it may feel really difficult to receive support from someone outside of the community. If you’d like to help people become better allies to the LGBTQ+ community, here are some ways to help them understand:

Be patient

Some people are still learning how to relate to the queer community, and still have decades of wrong assumptions and beliefs to work through. You are in no way responsible for educating someone on an entire movement on your own, but if you’d like to be patient with them, you could direct them to a website with a list of LGBTQ+ resources.

Tell your story in your own words

Your experience is valuable and part of the rich tapestry of strands that connects the LGBTQ+ community. If you feel comfortable opening up, sharing your own experiences of what it’s like to be queer will help other people better understand what the world’s like from someone else’s eyes.

Don’t discount your own experiences

Just because your experience doesn’t match up perfectly with someone else’s expectations doesn’t mean that your experiences aren’t valid. If someone is making you feel small, there’s no need to continue indulging them. Stand firm in your own identity and walk away from anyone who wants to tell you otherwise.

Resources

Good allies are powerful advocates for the LGBTQ+ community. Some resources to help you on your journey include:

If you or a loved one is struggling with LGBTQ+ identity and mental health, these numbers are available 24/7:

Trevor Lifeline: 1-866-488-7386
Trans Lifeline: 1-877-565-8860
SAGE National LGBT Elder Hotline: 1-877-360-LGBT (5428)
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline for LGBTQ+ Community: 1-800-273-8255

Being a good ally is more than just being there for others; it means being there for yourself too. If you could use some mental health help, Cerebral offers affordable, convenient, and high-quality online care. Click below to learn more!

Medically reviewed by: David Mou, MD, MBA

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7 Self-Care Tips for Moms

Self-Care for Moms: Letting Go and Doing Less Being a mom is a hugely rewarding journey, but day-to-day can be overwhelming, and it’s easy to forget to take care of yourself. Rather than adding the obvious self-care tasks to your to-do list, (Exercise! Eat well! Book time for a manicure!) caring for yourself can also take the form of doing less. It's okay to let go of cultural expectations of the mom who “does it all” and embrace a mindset of simply doing enough. Here are some practical, achievable tips and strategies that can help create balance and refocus on what’s important in your life. Remember, you’re doing an amazing job even if you feel like you’re doing the bare minimum. Taking care of yourself now will only help you do better in the long run. Start with rest You may already know that rest is the foundation of self-care, but if you’re a new mom it’s nearly impossible to get a full 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep. The trick is to get rest whenever and however you can: Ask your partner or a family member to watch the kids while you take a nap. Maybe you can book a sitter to allow yourself a well-deserved morning of sleeping in. The biggest challenge is to avoid tackling your to-do list once you’ve bought yourself some free time. Leave the dishes in the sink and prioritize rest instead. Remember, doing less while well-rested is far more beneficial than trying to do it all on limited sleep. Forget perfection Let go of the pressure to be perfect in every aspect of your life. Instead, focus on what’s most important each day: If you need to work late to finish an important work project, you probably won’t plan, prep, and cook the most nutritious or photo-worthy meal that same night — that’s totally OK. Let the living room stay messy if it means spending a little more time helping the kids with their homework. There will be days when it seems nothing went quite right, but remember that “off days” are part of the process. Get some rest (see above) and approach the next day with a recharged perspective. Fall in love with saying no Women in general, and especially moms, are socialized to make everyone around them happy. This means we end up saying “yes” to a lot of things we’d rather not do. Learning to say “no” can be liberating. Prioritize your well-being by saying “no” to non-important requests and invitations that may drain your energy and time. Focus on what truly matters to you and your family, and say “yes” to activities and commitments that align with your priorities. By setting boundaries and valuing your time, you'll have more energy and resources for what truly brings you joy. Don’t compete with your former self It's easy to compare yourself to a previous version of you. Maybe you used to run marathons and now you barely have time for a walk outside. Remember that circumstances are different now but that doesn’t mean you won’t be able to refocus and challenge yourself again in the future. Nothing is permanent, so accepting that some things need to be put on pause while you’re actively “momming” is key. One way to shift your perspective is to remember that kids grow up quickly — being present now instead of thinking of all the other things you “should” be doing will give you greater peace of mind. Outsource, delegate, and ask for help You don't have to do it all alone. Delegate tasks and responsibilities to your partner, family members, or trusted friends. If you’re able, consider outsourcing certain aspects of your life, such as meal planning, grocery shopping, or household chores. Look at your responsibilities as a family CEO and seek assistance wherever possible. Remember, it's not a sign of weakness to ask for help—it's a testament to your strength and self-awareness. Tune out the noise In this age of social media and Insta-perfect “momfluencers,” it's easy to fall into a trap of comparison and self-doubt. One simple scroll through your feed can make you question how you feed, speak to, bathe, and clothe your kids. Remember, there are people and businesses who profit from you feeling inadequate, so unfollow those accounts and opt-out of "mom guilt" culture. Talk to someone There may be times you feel like you’re doing everything you can, but the emotions are still overwhelming. If so, you are not alone: A recent Harris poll found that 42% of surveyed working mothers were diagnosed with anxiety and/or depression last year. Not unlike childcare and household chores, you can lighten your mental and emotional load by asking for help. Cerebral offers online therapy with top-tier experts who have flexible appointment times (days, nights, and weekends), so you can easily fit this essential care into your busy schedule. And don’t worry if you don’t see results right away—it takes time to sustainably elevate your mood. Our new Strong Start packages help you make the commitment to reach your mental health goals. Start by taking a free assessment. We hope this helps you prioritize what matters and care for yourself by doing less. And if you’re a mom who chooses to optimize your mental health with Cerebral, know that we’re here for every step of this incredible journey.

Jun 9, 2022

Substance Use Disorder

LGBTQI+ Health

Why Is Substance Abuse And Addiction So Prevalent Among The LGBTQI+ Community?

Why is substance abuse and addiction so prevalent among the LGBTQ+ community? In a world in which diversity should be celebrated, the LGBTQ+ community can find themselves excluded. Approximately 20-30% of the LGBTQ+ community suffers from substance abuse , compared to roughly 9% of the general population as a whole. This can include but is not limited to marijuana, opioids, smoking/vaping, amphetamines, heroin and alcohol. For LGBTQ+ youths of color, the increased risk is even higher. So the question stands - why are these individuals struggling so greatly and what can we do to help? Sexual minorities experience a range of challenges the rest of the population isn’t as often affected by. These challenges can include but are not limited to: A negative stigma/discrimination based solely on their sexual orientation. Rejection by family and friends. Lack of support from the community as a whole. Discrimination at work through job loss or being passed up for promotions. Internalized homophobia and self-identifying with anti-gay stigmas. Hate crimes, threats and public humiliation. LGBTQ+ individuals might also be likelier to experience: Sexual abuse/assault. Sexual dysfunction. Compulsive sexual behavior. This can further spiral into mental health issues like: Unhealthy levels of stress. Self-harming and attempted suicide. Generalized anxiety disorder (GAD). Major depressive disorder. This can lend to LGTBQ+ individuals dealing with co-occurring mental or sexual disorders. Unfortunately, young transgender people have higher levels of depression, suicide, self-harm and eating disorders. Oftentimes, individuals, including those in the LBGTQ+ community, might attempt to self-soothe in order to deal with negative circumstances by turning to drugs and alcohol. Sadly, he LGBTQ+ substance abuse statistics confirm it. For example, one study shows that transgender students are 2.5 times likelier to use cocaine or meth. In addition, they’retwice as likely to abuse prescription medications, like opioids and benzodiazepines. Lastly, for young adults who are in the sexual minorities, 12.4% have reported an alcohol use disorder, compared to 10.1% for the general population. So what can be done to help… LGBTQ+ substance abuse treatment Traditional therapeutic methods might not be the best approach for LGBTQ+ individuals. Substance abuse isn’t always the root of the problem—oftentimes it’s a byproduct. Counseling the LGBTQ+ community requires a specialized approach as we must address all of the varying factors that are contributing to LGBTQ+ individuals’ struggling mental and physical health. This includes addressing social isolation, family issues and even violence, among other things. Furthermore, sexual minorities might be afraid to seek help out of fear of rejection by a therapist;group therapy can be intimidating and clients are unsure if they’re safe to truly let their guards down. Discrimination against LGBTQ+ people can happen anywhere unfortunately—even in a therapist’s office. With mental illness in the LGBTQ+ community more prevalent, receiving mental health counseling online can help to reduce occurrences of depression, anxiety and other disorders. Cerebral offers individual therapy, in a safe, online atmosphere to people across the nation battling mental illness. Talk therapy online gives a person the ability to achieve healthier ways to cope and manage mental hurdles. Cerebral offers a variety of monthly subscriptions to fit our clients’ needs and goals. In addition, should a client and their therapist decide that medication is necessary, we deliver it right to their front door. Ways to support the LGBTQ+ community How can we all take part in building a more inclusive society? Here are just a few suggestions. If you see something, speak up! Is an LGBTQ+ coworker being treated unfairly? Report it to your manager. Make sure your coworker knows you are an ally. Think before speaking - if you think your joke or comment might offend someone; then do not say it. Be inclusive. LGBTQ+ people often experience social isolation. Make a point of including everyone!!. Confront your own biases. Challenge yourself to stop making assumptions about people just because of their gender or sexuality. Start a dialogue with someone; learn about who they are and educate yourself at the same time. Additional addiction resources for LGBTQ+ Cerebral’s goal is to make therapy available, accessible and affordable. There are additional places one can turn to, on the internet, if they need support. If someone is in crisis and needs immediate help, Crisis Text Line connects crisis counselors with individuals in need. It’s free, 24/7 support that you can access right at your fingertips. Just text HOME to 741741 and you’ll be connected to a trained counselor. They’ll help take you from a “hot moment” to a “cool moment.” The Trevor Project offers a similar service. Counselors are available by online chat, call and text. They listen without judgment. The Trevor Project also offers an international community for people ages 13-24. Trans Lifeline is run by trans people, for trans people. They have hotlines for both trans people, as well as, family and friends. They offer full anonymity and confidentiality and calls are always secure. Thrive Lifeline is a community of trained crisis responders and suicide interveners. If you’re 18+, you can receive judgment-free, confidential text messaging. If you’re a relative or friend of an LGBTQ+ person, PFLAG can help. They provide an abundance of resources on how to be an ally. Countering the unique obstacles that LGBTQ+ people face starts right at home with family and friends. A more inclusive and accepting community means fewer sexual minorities suffering. Take the next step with Cerebral The stigma surrounding mental health treatment persists. But Cerebral aims to shine a light on emotional wellness. This Pride Month, and every month, our goal is to reach and guide as many LGBTQ+ individuals as possible. If you or someone you know is dealing with a substance abuse issue, or if your mental health is otherwise suffering, help is a few clicks away. Get started by taking our free emotional assessment so we can learn more about you. Someone from our team will reach out with the next steps.

Jun 6, 2022

LGBTQI+ Health

Supporting Mental Illness in the LGBTQ+ Community

June is Pride Month! All across the globe LGBTQ+ communities are coming together to celebrate their decades long struggle to overcome prejudice and be accepted for who they are.. Pride month honors the 1969 Stonewall Uprising in Manhattan, which was a major turning point in the Gay Liberation Movement. Throughout the month, we celebrate those fighting for equality. In addition, we remember those who’ve lost their lives to injustice. Ultimately continuing to push for the end of discrimination in regard to gender fluidity. Discrimination against the LGBTQ+ community Despite being a deeply personal and individual matter, non-heterosexuality remains under the microscope as a deviation from the standard, an abnormality. Those who identify as LGBTQ+ often find themselves in a place in which they lack equality, freedom and basic human rights. Many states still offer little to no protection from discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation. LGBTQ+ people can still face inequality in employment, housing and public accommodation. Surveys confirm that LGBTQ+ workers face discrimination at work. LGBTQ+ workers of color have reported an increased likelihood of being denied a job. They also experience more verbal harassment and many LGBTQ+ employees still feel the need to “disguise” themselves in the workplace to avoid being mistreated. It can be harder for same-sex couples to adopt children. While reports reveal horrific discrimination against transgender people. In addition, LGBTQ+ persons often find healthcare providers treat them differently and they receive less access to necessary care. And this is only the tip of the iceberg… We live in a melting pot of a country, where diversity should ideally be celebrated. And yet, anyone who identifies as something other than heterosexual—as well as gender-fluid people—are at an automatic disadvantage. The ramifications of such can be life altering and have a negative impact on said persons. Sexual minorities have an increased risk for behavioral health issues, often times more leading to increased risk of experiencing depression and anxiety . Data shows that adults in the sexual minority report higher substance use patterns compared to heterosexual adults. Often it is found that use of marijuana, opioids and cigarettes are consumed at a higher rate, which can often lead to more severe substance use disorders. Ways to support LGBTQ+ individuals There are many simple, practical, yet powerful ways to be an ally for the LGBTQ+ community. Educate yourself. Become aware of the anti-discrimination laws in your state. In your workplace. Research how local businesses promise to enforce equality. Become aware of the difference between gender and sex. Knowledge is power and the first step in supporting the LGBTQ+ crowd. Use your voice. Demolishing the negative stigma means speaking up when you see something wrong. Have you heard someone use a slur? Offer education on the topic and kindly correct them with the inclusive term. Is a coworker being harassed at work? Don’t sit idly by but bring the situation to the attention of someone in charge. In addition, make sure your coworker is ok and knows you are a safe space for them.. Do you feel like your workplace policies could be improved? Voice your thoughts. Silence is compliance. Start a group. Does it feel like there’s a lack of safe, supportive places for your LGBTQ community? Take the initiative to start a group yourself. Even a monthly meeting at a coffee shop, restaurant or local library can make a world of difference to people who need the community. Do groups in your area already exist? Attend their events! LGBTQ+ Mental Health Resources While we’ve made strides as a society in providing more support for the LGBTQ+ community, we still have a long way to go but help is available. Here are just a few suggestions of resources available. The It Gets Better Project is a global non-profit. It aims to uplift, empower and connect LGBTQ+ youth across the world. The site provides support, education and a list of events you can attend. There’s also The Trevor Project, which is the world’s largest suicide prevention and crisis intervention organization for young LGBTQ+ people. They offer counseling for the LGBTQ+ community. Get help by calling, texting or chatting with one of their crisis counselors. Connect with others online through their community and read through a plethora of resources to support you on your journey. Their Crisis Text Line is another safe option! Q Chat Space hosts live chat groups for teens, where they can connect with other people who have shared interests and gather new information. If you want to know how you can better support a loved one who is LGBTQ+, that’s what PFLAG is for. They provide information and resources not just for LGBTQ+ people but also for anyone who wants to be an ally. There are more than 400 chapters across the US and over 200,000 members. For trans mental health resources specifically, Trans Lifeline can help. It’s run by and for trans people, to provide peer support. For LGBTQ+ friendly therapists, Cerebral is just a few clicks away. Our caring team provides LGBTQ+ therapy online for individuals who might be struggling with their mental health. We take mental illness in the LGBTQ+ community seriously. Cerebral offers different monthly subscriptions to make mental healthcare more affordable and accessible. Should you need medication, we’ll deliver it right to your doorstep. We know that finding therapy for LGBTQ+ issues might feel challenging. Often times people struggle finding care where they know they’ll be accepted, understood and included. Our goal at Cerebral is to remove the stigma surrounding mental health treatment. In order to live the life you want, “healthcare” demands a holistic approach—mentally, physically and emotionally, which you’ll find with Cerebral. If you or a loved one is ready to talk to someone, Cerebral is ready to listen! Start by taking our free emotional assessment so we can get to know you better. This Pride Month—and every month—we send all of our love, support and companionship to the LGBTQ+ community.

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